In my years as an athlete, I have worked under a variety of coaches. From recreational sports as a child to high school sports and then to college sports, I have had an array of experiences with these coaches. Some managed to become deterrents from the sport or to make it a much less enjoyable experience, while others were neutral coaches who helped throughout that season, and a few truly provided me with positive experiences in the sport and beyond. I have learned from them all as I have figured out what to and not to do as a coach. However, it is the coaches who positively impacted my life who will always have a special place in my heart. So, what made these coaches good coaches? Is it their achievements in their own athletic careers? Is it the number of wins their team has earned? Is it merely their knowledge of the sport?
The best coaches I have had were those who truly believed in and cared about me. In some instances, they knew I would not be the star of the team or play beyond the level I was at, but they never stopped pushing me to get better. A good coach sees potential in all athletes and strives to help them reach it. Not every athlete will play professionally or compete in the Olympics and a coach does not have to believe that in order to believe in the athletes. Instead, a coach must believe that every athlete can improve and must take the proper coaching measures to get there. After all, if a coach spends more time and energy helping the star athlete, how is the struggling athlete ever expected to reach that level? When I was the struggling athlete, I improved because a coach took the time to work with me instead of letting me fade into the background and having me sit the bench. Alternatively, when I was the athlete with high hopes of continued success, those coaches continued to believe in the other athletes around me and to hold us all to the same standards as we improved as a collective unit.
When I was not encountering success or had a difficult day, these coaches never let me stay down for long. They continuously reminded me of my abilities and kept my eyes on the goal. Instead of harping on the negatives, they helped me to grow from them and to change what I could for the next time. The best coaches never yelled at me for my failures and they knew I was hard enough on myself for all of us. Because of the attitudes, they brought to practices, games, and meets, they enabled me to remain a motivated and hard working person even during the difficult times. I cannot imagine it was always easy to hide their personal disappointment when I was not reaching the level we expected because that is another thing about these coaches: they were truly invested in me. On the days I succeeded, I could see the genuine excitement on their faces as they celebrated with me. And, this celebration was never for themselves. They showed no selfish pride in coaching another athlete to a win or in tallying another medal earned under their coaching. They were truly happy for me.
Even in successes outside the sport, the good coaches, I have had celebrated with me. From good grades to honor society inductions, these coaches let me know they were proud of my achievements. Why? I mentioned they were invested in me, but I did not yet mention that they were invested in me as more than just an athlete. Of all my coaches, it was my overall best coaches who were the ones to show they cared .If I arrived at practice clearly having a difficult day, they asked, not out of obligation, but out of care. When I felt overwhelmed by schoolwork and needed just one day off, they trusted that I was honest and provided me with the break I needed. They saw me as more than just an athlete and, thus, were able to impact me in more than just athletic ways. Good coaches have challenged me to work harder and to become a better leader. Their interest in my personal growth and the life I would live well after the season or the sport were over for me, were always clear. Checking in on my well-being, asking about my day, inquiring about my future plans, and encouraging me in all matters of my life, are only some of the ways my coaches were able to show me they cared. In doing so, they formed coach/athlete relationships with me like no other. The conversations and the questions between us revealed to me that I could trust they had my best interest in mind.
So, what makes a good coach? For me, when I look back and find a positive effect a coach has had on me that goes beyond the sport itself, then I know that person was a good coach. This kind of person takes the time to get to know their athletes as individuals, believes in their ability to succeed, and cares about them in and out of season. They may create a positive filter even over the most negative memories of the sport. Some may have challenged their athletes to become better teammates and leaders. Others have inspired them to challenge themselves and to work harder in all pursuits of life. In many cases, they have assisted athletes in their personal growth and the development of their character. Most importantly, a good coach leaves some sort of impact on an athlete that lasts a lifetime.
To all my good coaches, thank you. Thank you for the memories, for investing your time in me, for celebrating my successes and helping me grow from my failures, for teaching me so much about coaching and your sport, and for the impact you have left on me and in my life that goes well beyond the seasons we spent together.
