For starters, I just want to give you a little bit of a background. My boyfriend and I went to the same high school. We started dating my junior year, his senior year, in the fall semester. I had told myself at the beginning of the year that I did not want a boyfriend for the rest of high school. This was because I didn't want to have to put myself through a breakup (which was bound to happen due to everyone splitting ways) and I wanted something serious, and I had given up on high school boys for that. Until, I met him. He was completely different than anyone I have ever met before, and I just couldn't help but to break my promise to myself for him because I was absolutely head over heels.
Like I said above, he was way different than anyone I had met before. He was loving yet quiet. I could go on and on to try to explain him to you, but simply put, he is just a simple man. Simple to please, knows what he like, knows what he doesn't. His head was on straight and he had a strong moral compass. And he was private and guarded. With that being said, he was not like a high school boy. When we first started dating it was hard for us because I was so used to dating a certain type of person and having a certain type of a relationship that always had to fit a mold. I thought that's how relationships worked. All of them had rules they had to follow. We fought a lot at the beginning of the relationship because we were trying to figure each other out. He doesn't have a sister, and with a man of so few words and so private, it was hard for me to understand why he wouldn't just do what everyone in a relationship does. And it was hard for him to understand that girls just want to talk and know what's going on and need attention. And for me being so extroverted, it was difficult.
To follow that, my first piece of advice is to not make a relationship fit a mold. To this day, we don't text much, he doesn't give me unexpected gifts (he does but it's not expected every time a see him, when he does it, it's special), he doesn't do all the Twitter/Facebook things that makes you feel so bad for being single because that's not how he shows his love. He shows it through the attention he gives me, always answering when I call and being patient. He can read me like a book and can tell when I am sad or stressed or happy and knows what to do to make me feel better or hype me up because he understands me. In high school, I had friends that did not approve of our relationship because he didn't "fit the relationship mold". Which couldn't be farther from the truth, he fits it in his own way which is far more important in the long run. And the only person who has the right to tell you if your relationship is bad is yourself. If you're happy, nothing else matters.
Moreover, your relationship is not everyone else's business if you fight. In the early stages of our relationship, I would run and tell my friend what was happening to us because that's what girls do. We tell our friends our problems and we talk it out, decipher text messages and what all else high school girls do. This would make things so much worse in a fight because our business is our business. We can work it out together. It doesn't have to involve your best friend or any other person you found necessary to tell. It was us two trying to figure each other out to make our relationship work.
On that same note, compromise, compromise, compromise. It is so so important. The people that we were at the beginning of our relationship are completely different than the people we are today. We have changed together. With that being said, girls tend to have the tendency and social affirmation that we do nothing wrong. Our boyfriends should bow at our feet and give us constant attention, praise, and gifts. And how much a person loves us is given a numerical value on how much they spend on us. We come first and then in return, we can do whatever we want. This makes my skin crawl thinking about it. Your significant other is your EQUAL, NOT YOUR INFERIOR. That same amount of love and respect that you want should be reciprocated. They are people too. Get off your high horse and treat them with respect especially someone you claim to love and care for. And these are just a few ways that my long-term, long-distance relationship has worked for the past 4 years.
