Through the years, I have had my heart broken, and watched my close friends and family members be heartbroken as well. Love seems to break everyone's hearts these days, and it has become a common belief to be afraid to love someone because they are eventually going to leave, cheat, or disappoint you. Many seem to believe that love is a waste of time, and will just be in the way of their career goals in life. There are also others who believe that love only comes around once and it is always with the first person you fall in love with--sometimes leading to terrible and abusive relationships. All of this has given love a terrible definition that I really wish would change.

All of the views of love above are wrong. While it may be nice to think that there is someone out there who is your other half, and that your souls were meant to be together, this is complete crap. There is not just one person out there for you because every time you date someone, odds are that you're going to believe they are the one and then you two end up breaking up. I mean, did you look at Ted Mosby's life? He dated so many different woman and believed more than once that the one he was with was his "perfect match!"

If life was that way, then why didn't God just ensure that you meet the person you are meant to be with, and instantly have you know that "yep this is the person I am stuck with the rest of my life." Life doesn't work that way because different people enter your life for many different reasons and, even though you may love a person, that doesn't mean they are someone who is going to be there forever. Sometimes people are brought into your life because they are there to teach you lessons, to teach you to be strong, and to teach you how to move on. So no, I don't believe love gives us our perfect matches, nor do I believe that there is someone out there considered the one for us all.

However, I do think the fact that so many people do believe there is one person out there who is the one for them, is why so many of us have difficulty finding actual love. So many of my friends go out on dates with guys they believe are cute and perfect. Everything is fine until they find something wrong with that person that they don't think they can tolerate and then they leave. Hello! Love isn't about meeting the perfect prince charming people! This makes me literally want to shake them and yell "We are all human! No one is perfect, but that guy/girl could have been perfect for you!" So the guy you take out ends up having smelly feet, why should you break up with him over that when he makes you laugh and feel loved everyday of your life. So, the girl you're dating ends up not being the hottest girl you've seen, but why should you throw that away when she is willing to do whatever you need, and is always there to support you? No one is ever going to be perfect, and fit our impossible standards of what we desire in a partner however there is always going to be someone out there who is pretty darn close if given the chance to prove it.

Nevertheless, if you don't want to be in love, or are more dedicated to your goals, then that is also fantastic! I applaud you because you are going to be really successful and happy with your life. However, while working is what leads you to your happiness, being in love and in a healthy relationship is what leads others to their happiness. So please, while I do respect your choices, don't rag on those in relationships and say they're going to end up divorced and unhappy because that's not fair. Some people are meant to be together, and some people are meant to be alone. Each and every one of us is given the choice of choosing to be with someone or not, and that doesn't mean one choice is better than the other.

Honestly, if you are in love or not, everything should come down to your happiness. If you are happy alone, then stay that way! We only get one life, so what's the point wasting it with someone who doesn't make you happy because society expects you to be with someone? Also, if you were once happy in a relationship--as most are during the first few months because lust overshadows love--and now you aren't happy then end it! You do not have to stay with a person just because you think they are the one, and that you aren't going to get another shot in a relationship. There are way too many people in the world for you to only get one shot at picking the right one. But, this doesn't mean you shouldn't give people a chance. So many of us, with all of the social media sites out there, stalk people before we date them, judge them and look for anything remotely wrong, and toss them for the next hot person we can swipe right to (or left?).

Current technology has ruined our view on love, as well as the fast paced world we are living in. Love is a slow process that isn't rushed like you observe in you favorite movies and books. To love someone is to be there through all of their failures and successes, and when they are annoying the crap out of you. We are never going to find someone who doesn't annoy us--like when my boyfriend refuses to hang his clothes up--however that doesn't mean you can't look past it and love them anyway. Love is about sharing a coffee with someone in the morning, as the sun rises in the midst, and talking about everything under the moon. Love is about teamwork, and knowing that the girl you want to marry will make a perfect mother for your kids. Love is looking at someone, and knowing that you could stare at them all day--almost like a newborn baby--and never get bored. Love is all about challenging each other to be better everyday, and knowing that you always have someone there to talk to. Love isn't about losing yourself in someone, disappearing from Earth to spend all your time with this person, and feeling your heart beat fast every time you are near them. It isn't about how cute someone is, the dates you go on, or how long you guys stay together. Love should be equal to happiness, and it shouldn't be something scary. It should be full of trust, kindness, and happiness, and if it isn't then honey it is time to dump it.

There isn't one person out there for everyone, but there sure is someone out there who is perfect for you. There are people who are going to love you no matter how old you become, and are going to put a smile on your face everyday--you just have to get past the hard parts. Some people may even want to be alone and their perfect someone is themselves, and that is okay! But this whole negative connotation with love needs to end. Love is great and should lead you to happiness--and I'm not just saying this because I'm currently in love with someone--I'm saying this because it's true. With only a short while here on Earth, why would you want to be with someone who doesn't make you happy, even in the long run?

So slow down, do what makes you happy and give people a chance. Don't hold on too long though, or you may miss your opportunity for love forever.