The day before Thanksgiving Break, I could not have been more ecstatic to go back to Dallas for the first time in three months. I hadn’t seen my family since they moved me into my dorm in August, and I hadn’t seen my best friends from high school for even longer. Not to mention how much I missed having my own room and a bathroom to myself. The two-hour flight from STL to DFW couldn’t have gone by fast enough. As soon as the plane landed, I felt instant relief. I was finally away from all the stress of the first semester of freshman year and back “home.”
My first two days back in Dallas seemed great. I was spending time with my family, I had a reunion with my old friends, and I got to cuddle with my dog. I even got to eat Tex-Mex two days in a row, the only food I found myself craving literally at least once a week back in St. Louis. However, when I woke up on my third morning in Dallas, something felt off. As I sat up in the full sized bed I had claimed to miss so much and looked around the room I had slept in for over 13 years, I couldn’t help but feel as if I had been suspended in time. Somehow I had been transported into the past, yet instead of feeling happily nostalgic, I felt completely disconnected to myself.
A lot has changed for me during my first three months at college. There’s no denying that the initial transition was difficult. I had lived in the same city for all of my life and I went to the same school for 13 years. I knew everyone in my grade and I had grown up with my best friends. Moving to a new city and going from having a class of 117 students to 1,780 was overwhelming, to say the least. At the beginning of the year, I was bouncing from friend group to friend group, struggling to find the right people I truly clicked with. On top of this, I was still trying to balance my schoolwork with finding time for all the student groups I signed up for, as well as adjust to sharing both a bedroom and a bathroom for the first time since middle school.
Despite all of the initial struggles, as the days went on, I found myself settling into this formerly alien environment. By the end of October, I had established my different friend circles, found groups I enjoyed being involved in and solidified a routine for handling all of my schoolwork. I had made a place for myself.
Leaving that place for the first time, even for the city I grew up in, was a lot more jarring than I anticipated. I’ve realized that I’m not the same person I was back in the beginning of August. I’ve grown as a person and consequently made a home someplace new. During my stay in Dallas, I felt stagnant. I didn’t know what to do with myself and I found myself longing for the bustle of school that I’ve grown to love so much.
Although I will always be fond of The Lone Star state, I’ve discovered that home is more than just the place you grew up. Home is where you have a community supporting you and a purpose to fulfill.
