Living as the oldest has its perks. For example, you get first (and new) for everything. Fortunately, my sisters are smart so they didn't have to live through hand me downs, as my sister right below me was a total tomb-boy and refused to wear my "girly girl" clothes, and there is an eight-year difference between the youngest and I. But there are other perks such as first phone, first sleepover, first vacation without parents, and like my mom says, "You got our love all to yourself for two whole years," which, I guess is technically true.

But there are definitely losses as the firstborn. To start off, you will probably somehow get blamed for something your sibling(s) did wrong. They didn't clean their room? It's because I set a bad example. They didn't get good grades in school? It's because I set a bad example. In all honesty, I probably did have an impact of how they behaved, but I would have preferred not to have to sit with my sisters while they were getting in trouble. So my tip? Be quick-witted and as soon as you feel the tension go to the furthest spot in the house possible because the moment your mom sees you - it's game over.

I personally feel that living as the eldest to two younger sisters is different from being the eldest to brothers. I have different worries, different relationships, and different feelings for my sisters. Of course, now that I am much older, these worries came to exist because when I was younger, honestly, I was probably plotting and thinking of ways of how to get rid of them. But as I get older the more I realize how much I need them in my life and I probably would not be who I am without them.

For starters, I worry if, maybe, what if, I did impact their future.

And not in a good way. What if my parents were right, that because I did not set a good example they're doing the things they are not supposed to be doing? What if, because I didn't study enough they feel they shouldn't study either? What if, because they see too many of my lazy days they also feel lazy days are necessary? (Which they are, but only sometimes.) What if they see me as the highest "achievement" and set their goals to be either the same or below our potential?

Can they live without me always being by their side?

I would say that my sisters and I have a pretty good relationship and they tell me things they can't tell my parents. But they are also both more reclusive to say things and bring things up first, so I can only get information out if I ask. My biggest worry when I'm away at college is missing out on their daily life. Before I would ask on the car ride home about drama or stresses happening in their lives, but now I don't get that time and it's not the same asking over the phone. Little did I know how precious the short car rides were.

Can I protect them from all the bad things in the world?

Living in the 21st century is hard - it gets even harder living as a women, and harder as a minority. It makes me nervous that anything could happen to them at any given moment and I won't be there to protect them. What if they go through a nasty break-up and I'm not there to help them? What if I can't tell them it's not their fault and they go through pain? What if they encounter a racist and they say remarks towards my sisters and they take it to heart? There are so many what-ifs I want to protect them from, but not enough how-cans.

All I can tell myself and to fellow eldest sisters is that we are probably one of our sibling(s) favorite people and they definitely look up to us, so all we can do is try our best and love them.