My thighs touch and fit weird in skinny jeans, my stomach scrunches when I sit down and my arms jiggle a bit when I clap during Rush. I'm one of the not-so-skinny girls in my sorority, and I have a complicated relationship with that fact.
Truth be told, I've never been thin. Between my combination of slow metabolism, my compulsive sweet tooth and my lack of sports skills, I've always had a little extra to love on my bones. It's taken years and many reassurances from statistics and loved ones to accept this fact and start the process towards loving my body despite its stretch marks and extra inches to pinch. I still struggle today, but not as much, and I know I'm not the only one with these struggles.
It gets hard at times to not be skinny in a sorority, especially at a southern school where everyone seems to be tanned and toned year round and yet still suffer from the insecurities society and pop culture demand we have. A day doesn't go by where girls in every house complain about how they look or how their clothes fit, wonder whether they should go for it and treat themselves to dessert at dinner, or suffer through miles on a treadmill when prepping a last-minute summer bikini bod.
Although there's quite a diversity of girls in every house, there sometimes seems to be two categories: the "skinny" girls and the "not-so-skinny" girls.
There are girls who look perfect and stunning in every Rush outfit, who are always in the gym lifting and doing more cardio than I do in a year, who rock the backless dresses at formal, and who have a thigh gap and can still eat whatever they want. And that's awesome. To my skinny sisters: you're beautiful, and I admire you. Whether it's genetic (bless your parents' genes, right?) or by hard work, your body is ROCKIN' girl. It's cheesy and cliché, I know, but I truly believe that all HEALTHY body types are beautiful (healthy being the key word here … only healthy life habits, ladies).
For the not-so-skinny girls (like me): you're freaking awesome too. You're awesome when the size-two girl next to you at dinner complains about being fat, and suddenly the mac and cheese on your plate doesn't seem like such a good idea after all. You're awesome when you don't think you look as good next to your friends in that spring break beach pic, and you over-analyze every detail of your appearance in the mirror. You're awesome when your clothes from high school don't fit quite right anymore, or when you don't have time to work out for a while, or when you eat that extra cookie at lunch and get really down on yourself.
If you're worried about your weight, think of it this way: you were picked out of hundreds of girls to be a part of a sisterhood that is no way based on a number on a scale. Your sisterhood and worth is based on your ability to uphold values and the quality of your friendship, not on what you did or did not eat over the weekend. Despite the rumors that chapters look for a certain body type or "look" in their PNMs, the bottom line is: they look for happy, healthy girls who will better their chapter.
On a side note, to the ones who think sorority nicknames that make fun of weight are funny and use them regularly, how DARE you! We've all heard them, so I'm not going to repeat and mistakenly encourage them through this article. Nevertheless, the nicknames are hurtful not only to the house's image, but to individual girls in each chapter. I've seen sisters cry about their insecurities, many of them weight-related. I know girls who skip meals or have struggled with some sort of eating disorder in the past. Based on national statistics, at least half of a sorority's chapter members have used or are using unhealthy weight control habits. So whether you're a guy using these nicknames to put down girls for whatever hurtful reason, or a girl using them to put down a house you don't like, please stop. You're perpetuating a problem that is much bigger than you probably realize, and you're just making yourself look cruel.
For now, all I can say is keep doing you, not-so-skinny sorority girl. Don't let the nicknames get to you, don't let your weight hold you back from going out or taking pictures with your friends, and certainly don't let your concerns stop you from eating at your house, or at all. As long as you're healthy (or working towards a healthy goal), your not-so-skinny body is right where it's supposed to be.
