Social Anxiety? Social Phobia? Most people do not even realize this is an actual thing. Even I am guilty of thinking it wasn’t real, until I actually was diagnosed. Another name for social anxiety disorder is social phobia, for whoever does not know, it is an excessive and irrational fear when in social situations. Sounds silly, right? I always was told I was shy or that I need to grow up, which lead to anger towards not only who tells me that and at myself, I didn’t learn until I was 16 years that I had social anxiety and this is why I think it is time to accept social anxiety as a real thing.
Having social anxiety is an actual battle between the wanting friends and being too scared and uncomfortable. This is why I realize I mostly only have small circles of friends and when larger groups begin to form, this is when each heartbeat makes you feel like you’re a beat closer to a heart attack. Don’t get me wrong social anxiety isn’t running away when you see strangers or large groups, it is more of the voice in your head telling you you’re making mistakes, look bad, and that you are embarrassing.
What many people do not realize that just because you’re afraid or nervous to talk in front of a class or present in front of your colleagues that does not mean you have social anxiety. A mild form of anxiety is complete normal in day to day lives. It is the constant fear and worry that leads to this disease. Another misconception about social anxiety is it only happens in crowds. Honestly that couldn’t be more wrong. Having this disorder, you will find yourself on multiple implications where no matter if you are with one, few, or many friends/ family there will be times when you can’t help but shake and cry while you are gasping for breath. Also, people need to understand this is an everyday event that will come on not only your lowest days but also some of what you thought the best days.
Even recently I was faced with that exact struggle and the fear that comes with social anxiety. This past week I was on spring break and went to Key West with a few friends from my dorm, these people I feel comfortable with and I still found myself breaking away. On the last night, we spent in the Keys I found myself crying in a corner on a balcony, why? Because I got overwhelmed by all the people I’ve just seen the past few days and I was terrified to go out in public. After almost 30 minutes of crying my eyes out to the point where I hyperventilated so bad I began to throw up on the balcony, I found the strength to go back into the room. With just one of the girls saying, “hey Jen” without even seeing my face, lead me to dart to the bathroom to cry on the floor. Then only two weeks prior I had to sit in the hallway of a hotel because i was overwhelmed being around my own family and they were all just talking among themselves. I’m not telling you this story for pity or attention, I’m telling you this because the only way to get people to truly begin to understand is if people tell their stories.
With time and help you can learn to live with social anxiety, I mean look at me. I was unable to order for myself or even ask for anything in a restaurant or in a fast food place until I was in 8th grade. I was only able to stand in front of a class and not cry during or right after until I was in 9th and there are still times where I feel myself on the verge of tears, but now I can handle myself until I leave the class. Now look at me now, as a freshman in college and I finally did my first presentation in class without being on the verge or even crying or breathing heavy when I got out of class. With my story about this past week I was lucky and was with people that understand and care about my well-being, my challenge to you is will you spread the word and be like the friends I have? And if you think you might have social anxiety I strongly recommend you look for help, in the end it will be worth it, I promise.
