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10 Things I Learned From Turning 21

Alcohol is always the answer, and if it isn't you'll at least forget the problem

Kirstin Winke

Aug 23, 2016

Capital University

Images Yard

It was about two weeks ago that I turned 21. In the last two weeks, I have learned a lot about myself and others thanks to alcohol. I would like to share my top ten discoveries with you.

Alcohol is usually always the answer.
If alcohol is not the answer, you’ll at least forget the question.
When sad – drinking will cheer you right up!
If drinking does not cheer you up, you’re drinking with the wrong people.
Waking up with a hang over is actually great because you know that your day can only get better!
You can’t (shouldn’t) be considered an alcoholic until you are out of college.
Nothing bonds people quite like alcohol does.
Have a boring friend? Drink a few beers and PRESTO, they’re super interesting.
I could be drinking three cups of coffee today, but my doctor said that was bad for my heart so…
Jesus turned water into wine so I don’t understand how it could be bad for you.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The Daily Struggles of Being a College Commuter

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10 Things I Learned From Turning 21

Alcohol is always the answer, and if it isn't you'll at least forget the problem

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10 things that most incoming college freshmen have no idea about.

Your Schedule

The Library

Time Management

Registration

Housing

The Dining Hall

Teachers

Clubs

High School Friends

Finals

It's not all morning coffees and singing along to the radio.

You can't just go to your room to take a nap in the middle of your classes.

Having to spend all your extra cash on gas for your car.

Speaking of money, you probably don't have a meal plan so you're forced to scrounge up some change or mooch off of your friends.

It can be harder to maintain the friendships you make with people from class.

Finding a parking spot.

It can be harder to be involved on campus because between your one, two, or three jobs and school you don't have much free time.

When you try to be super involved on campus, it can kill your sleep schedule.

It's impossible to do homework at home, but staying on campus isn't an option sometimes.

There are surveys and events that you can't participate in because you're a commuter.

Group projects are the bane of your existence.

Traffic.

Your backpack rivals that of a survivalist trekking in the woods.

Driving all the way to campus to find a note on the door of your classroom saying class was cancelled.

Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

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