I've learned a lot from my relationships, especially the one I finally got out of five months ago and the relationship I've been in since then and am still in now. A lot of times, I wish that I had never dated my ex in the first place because that relationship ended up making me miserable. It did end up teaching me a lesson though.
From my past relationship, I learned to not just settle for someone. I settled for that guy because I thought that I wasn't worth anything better. He didn't treat me right at all, and I kept forgiving him for a long time because I thought I would never find anyone else that liked me and he kept convincing me that I was the one in the wrong. It took me a while, but at one point I finally realized that he was emotionally abusive. He had cheated on me, lied about it, then blamed it on me for living in another state and not being able to go see him, when he also didn't make an effort to visit me, either. He got angry with me for leaving the house or going to hang out with friends instead of staying in my room and talking to him over Skype all day every day. He even got angry with me for going to school, and it got worse when I started college and was busy more often than not.
At one point he had access to some of my social media accounts because he kept accusing me of cheating on him and I wanted to prove him wrong. I eventually realized that it was a dumb decision to let him have that much power over me and I changed all of the information on my accounts so he couldn't access them anymore.
He had me convinced that I was the one treating him badly for a while, until I told my close friends everything and they helped me figure out that he was being emotionally abusive and that it wasn't my fault. That was when I decided that I deserved so much better than that relationship. After being at college for about a week, with emotional support from my friends, I finally broke up with him for good. That was one of the best decisions I have ever made. My feelings for him had diminished several months before I even stopped dating him.
After I broke up with my ex, I started dating my current boyfriend. I was nervous at first, considering how I had been treated in the past, but it didn't take me long to figure out that I had nothing to worry about and that he was trustworthy. We have a pretty healthy relationship and he actually treats me the way I deserve to be treated. Now that I'm in a healthy relationship, I realize that I do deserve to be loved and cared for.He makes me feel more loved than I ever have been and I've never been happier.
I learned that you should never settle for a relationship just because you feel that you can't find anyone else that would treat you better. If your partner treats you poorly or is abusive, leave them as soon as you can. You will find someone else who actually loves you and treats you right. Settling for something lesser than what you deserve will only make you miserable and keep you from finding something better. You're worth so much more than some slimy, abusive dirtbag, or anyone that treats you poorly at all.
