When I joined a sorority, one of the things I was most excited for was receiving a big. After receiving a bid, I frantically tried to find out who was taking a little that semester and hoped that I would make a good impression on them. Luckily, I was matched with my perfect big and it was everything I hoped for.
However, the big sister I’m talking about isn’t my sorority sister. It’s the sister that I wasn’t perfectly matched with. The one that got stuck with me since the day I was born. The one that has to deal with me on a daily basis. In a lot of ways, a big sister is your first best friend and one of the first people you have in your life to look up to. These are some things that growing up with mine taught me.
1. Don’t compare yourself to others:
Growing up in someone else’s shadow isn’t easy. In fact, most of the time it really sucks. Whether it’s your parents, friends, teachers or a perfect stranger, there is always someone that is going to compare you to your older sibling in some way. While this could be very annoying at times, it’s what drove me to create a separate identity for myself and to not constantly compare myself to anyone. I learned that being yourself is always good enough.
2. Choose your battles wisely:
Growing up, I can’t tell you how many times a day my sister and I fought. As kids, we would fight over who would get to use the computer first, which toys were whose and who our parents liked better. Even as we both got older, our fighting continued. I’m not going to lie, even at 21 and 22, there are times we still want to pretty much kill each other. However, I’ve come to realize that not every problem is worth fighting over and most things can be dealt with without an argument. There’s still an occasional argument about which of us gets to use the backyard for parties, but for the most part were good.
3. Family always comes first:
As teenagers, it’s safe to say my sister and I hated each other. We went to the same high school, but barely said hi as we passed each other in the halls. At that age, we cared about hanging out with our friends more than anything. Spending time at home wasn’t on either of our to-do lists. It took me a while to realize that my sister was there for me more than anyone else. If I had a problem or was struggling with something, she was the first person to defend me and supported me no matter what. Friends come and go, but you will always have your family.
4. Don’t take anyone in your life for granted:
When I first joined a sorority, I remember my family having a lot to say about it. I distinctly remember my sister saying “You know that’s not your REAL big sister right?” the night I found out who my big was. Although I knew she was joking, it’s something that stuck with me from when I became a sister until now. Although I gained 50+ sisters at the time and spent the majority of my time at school, it reminded me to not forget about the important people in my life and to always make time for them.
Also, if my sister is reading this, I’m sorry I finished the wine you left in the fridge. I’ll make it up to you.
