[Disclaimer: there are several pictures in this article. I figured seeing everything would help everyone understand.]
When you hear the phrase, "cancer patient", you generally don't think of someone your age. A 21-year-old generally isn't the first person who comes to mind. However, that's just who I am; a 21-year-old college student who was diagnosed with cancer.
I figure I should start by telling my story since that's the easiest way for everyone to understand where I'm coming from.
In September of 2016, I noticed that my neck was extremely swollen on one side. My dad, who is a paramedic, figured I had some sort of infection that was causing my lymph nodes to swell. So I went to the ER to get them to check. Six hours and one CT scan later, I'm finally out of there with an antibiotic to make the infection go away.
About two weeks later, I went to visit my regular doctor's office because the swelling hadn't gone down. She prescribed a different antibiotic and referred me to an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist (who will here on out be referred to simply as the ENT).
The next week, I went to see the ENT. He prescribed yet another antibiotic and said if the swelling didn't go down this time, we would schedule a biopsy for the following week. Surprise, surprise: the medicine didn't help and the biopsy was scheduled to remove a lymph node from my neck.
The ENT was so sure that my neck was swollen because of cat scratch fever or a weird strand of tuberculosis that they said cancer was an 80-20 chance. A week after my biopsy, I went back to the ENT prepared for anything but what I was told.
"It's curable, it's treatable, but it's still cancer." As far as cancers go, I'm told I have the best one to have. Once treated, it's not likely it will come back so, that's great. My cancer is Stage IV classical Hodgkin's Lymphoma.
So thus begins my journey through this life changing experience. First, let's talk about my PET scan. In terms of my scan, let me just say, I can grow some cancer. That PET scan is a true work of art; I plan on framing it when I'm done with this.
To break down what you're seeing in my PET scan, your kidneys, bladder, and brain always light up in a PET scan. So, the cancer is the black in my neck and chest, and that circle on my pelvic bone.
After my PET scan, the first thing to do was to start chemo. My first round of chemo was through a regular IV; the rest have been through my port. For those who don't know, a port is basically a big circle put into your chest that has a tube connected to it that is also connected to a vein. It makes the whole process of getting stuck with a needle much easier. Instead of looking for a good vein to poke, the nurses just have to poke the port.
By the third chemo treatment (I have treatment every other week), my hair was falling out in clumps. Not to be such a girl, but when I heard I had to go through chemotherapy, I didn't cry because I had cancer. I cried because I was going to lose my hair. I know, I'm ridiculous. But you don't know how much your hair does for you until it's gone. I think every cancer patient can agree with me on this one. I tried to hold off as long as I could, but everytime a new clump of hair came out, I sobbed. So one day, I decided to go ahead and shave it off.
The weirdest feeling in the world is not having hair. It's also the most freeing feeling. I literally wake up in the morning ready to go! Lucky for me, I don't have to buy the nice, expensive shampoos and conditioners anymore, I just need soap! It's exhilarating! But I'm still ready to have long, luscious hair again. Wigs are honestly a godsend, no matter how itchy they may be.
Besides the hair thing, I've been a very lucky patient. I haven't had nausea or weight loss. I've actually gained the weight back that I had lost before we found out I had cancer. I'm still able to hang out with people. Granted, I have to be careful of my immune system and I tire more easier these days. But I still get to be me. I've officially hit my halfway mark with chemo, and by this April, I plan to be cancer free!
The most important thing that I've come to realize is that with the right support system, anything is possible and is nowhere near as hard as it looks. My friends and family have been by my side this entire time, lending an ear, a shoulder to cry on, or even just their time. It's the best feeling in the world to know that you have more people than you could imagine who care about you and want only what's best for you. That has made this worth it.
Another thing I've come to realize from this whole scenario is that nobody looks at me as "the girl with cancer" except for me. Everyone else still sees me as me, and I'm so incredibly grateful for that.
I'm hoping that this article helps anyone who's dealing with something similar, whether it be cancer or anything else. I want everyone to know that there is someone out there who will look out for you no matter what happens, and that you're so much stronger than you think you are. But most importantly, your sickness does not define who you are. You will always still be you, not your health. You still get to be an individual unlike any other, and that was such an important notion for me to accept.
God only puts in front of you what you can handle, always remember that.
