Yes, I am single. Yes, it has indeed been a year, and a long one at that. Maybe not long for some, but that's not my point.

Why do I continue to dwell on the fact that I'm single? Well, it is who I am now. I hope that through my experience I can help you who are in the same boat as I am. Whether you're paddling hard through turbulent waters or just floating along the peaceful stream, being single can be one heck of a ride.

Let's start with the struggles of being single. Ohhh girl (or boy), let me tell you, I struggle. For me, I find it hard to be living with two out of four girls who are taken. Don't get me wrong, I love them dearly and I am truly happy for them. The fact is that I could be going on cute dates, getting hugs, kisses, cuddles, and surprises, BUT I'm not. If I think too much about not having that special someone to share those cutesy, mooshy-gushy affections with, I tend to feel moody and lonely in a sense. I start complaining and wishing and living in the world of "what-if's."

Then there's the instance where I see other cute couples everywhere I go (CofO at night is crawling with them). Like, why can't that be me? Why can't I have him? Why am I still single? Am I ugly? Am I too crazy? And those questions reel in my head non-stop. I visualize myself in that situation with Lord knows who and it makes me long to be in a relationship.

There have been a few failed attempts. I tried to be outgoing and message him those guys first and it turned into something that I do NOT want it to be. I won't give you any names or specifics, but you can probably get the picture. And you know when you have a list of guys that you would not mind dating, and then they all get girlfriends and you feel so devastated? Yeah, that's my life too. Which then flows into my next point, standards.

I will admit, I have high standards in every aspect for a guy. Do I care that just about every guy falls short? No. I don't think there is the perfect man out there. I DO believe there is the perfect man for ME, there is a difference. There have been guys that seem to follow just about every "must have," then it's my luck they are taken, not interested, or not who I thought they were. Then I'm back to square one.

I also find myself trying to match with a guy who I think I want. I want to be on the "same" wavelength as him. I want what he wants, I want to be what he wants. I do not want to change myself for a guy, but I try to fit myself with him. It's wrong and if I'm not meant to be with him, then I know I shouldn't be trying to fit us together like water and electricity (it's quite shocking...ha).

It can be disappointing being single, it can be lonely, it can be confusing, and it can be a lot of things that are not always fun to deal with.

Now, let's focus on the positives, or advantages. The best part of being single is probably all the looking I get to do without feeling too guilty. By "looking" I mean that I can point out the cutie from across the cafeteria or scroll through GIF after GIF of Dylan O'Brien (*drool*). I have also sharpened my detective skills. Some would call it "stalking," while I just call it a minor investigation. Give me a guy whose name I don't know and I can find him in an hour (it's sad but true). I mean, I have to see if he has potential, whether he's interested or not. There are probably some guys reading this that I have done plenty of research on. They would have no idea unless I slipped up and asked about his mini beach vacay he took in 2014 or I liked a picture from three months ago (not directed towards anyone in particular). I'm not ashamed for being extra precautions.

One major realization I made this past year is that my eyes are opened to so many more issues, flaws, problems, etc. with guys. I can easily discern if it would be a good match or not. Being a Family Studies major has given me some major insight into relationships. I see it as a gift that I can be single and learn how to be in a relationship so I don't have any small voices in my head trying to justify obvious issues I have within my relationship with a guy. I have a solid understanding of how a healthy relationship should be and how to conduct "Heart Talks," as taught by Dr. Bell, my adviser here at CofO. I am learning to be observant and careful versus reckless and careless as to whom I give my time, attention, and most importantly my heart.

Since I can get a bird's eye view of people's relationships, I typically get asked for advice by my close friends. I don't claim to be an expert on break-ups, fights, and the sort, but it helps to have that experience under my belt to help others. I love helping my friends, whether my advice is useful or not. My girl friends are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me here at college. If I had a boyfriend I probably wouldn't be as close as I am with them right now. I want to grow in my relationships with them and develop the friendship I have. Without my girl friends I would not be where I am right now. They all play a large role in my life and I love them to death.

Ultimately, I know I am single in this season of life because it's all a part of God's plan. I know I have bunches and bunches of learning to do. Not only should I focus on school, but I need to focus on God and learn to be more like Him. I got to be that Proverbs 31 woman! I want to be closer to Him in this time of my life, so cliche, but my attention and focus should be what He wants, not what I want. I always say, I want a boy, but I know I don't need one. Learning to prioritize the importance of my spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional health before being available for a guy to come sweep me off my feet is critical. But for now, I will continue to pray for my Future Hubby.

So wherever you may be Mr. Right, know that I am here and waiting patiently (trying to anyway) for you to come.

What a year it has been, who knows, I might have another waiting for me to ride solo.