Most people are pretty surprised when they find out I’ve worked with children for a lot of my teen/somewhat adult life. This is mainly because I swear a lot, and am not necessarily a good person. But I’m writing about my experience now, because I just spent my whole spring break taking care of children at a Theatre Camp, and I was reminded of what I had learned from taking care of children in the past, and l still found myself still learning a lot about myself this past week.

1. Patience is a virtue: and I do not possess it.

When you are working with children, you are going to find that they are repetitive, and that they do not follow directions. By repetitive, I mean that they are going to want to do the same things over and over again, and by not following directions, I mean that it’s going to take some convincing to get them to do what you need them to do. It has taught me how to be patient, but it’s still exhausting.

2. You need to accept the fact that not every kid is going to like you.

Kids are extremely honest. As we get older, we are taught to hide how we feel about others, and we’re taught to do our best to be liked and to fit in. Kids have not learned that yet, and will therefore show all of their feelings, including feelings of dislike. In the end, just as you learn that not everyone is going to like everything you do, you learn that not every kid is going to like you, even if it is for no apparent reason. Plus, when you’re taking care of a big group of kids, you really don’t have time to try to get a kid to like you. You’re there to do your job, and that’s that.

3. But when they like you, they will show it.

Once again, kids are honest. And if they like you, they will show affection, both physically, and verbally. One of the most rewarding moments of my life was when I comforted a little girl I was babysitting. She asked me to stay with her, and so I cuddled her. After a while, she said, “I love you Caroline”. My heart never felt warmer.

4. Even though kids are honest, don’t take everything they say seriously.

You are going to have kids throw tantrums. They are going to say mean things, and somehow, you will feel hurt by them. I’ve had numerous kids tell me that they hate me, or that they want their parents back. It hurts. You don’t want it to, but it does. But remember, you’ve probably said things you don’t mean in anger or sadness. Kids are the same.

5. You don’t need to fear kids: fear parents.

You see, the thing you often worry about is how you’re going to deal with children that don’t follow directions, or kids that will try to run away. Last summer, I was an usher for children and parents. At first, my biggest fear was getting children to quiet down and listen. No, the kids were great. Parents were what scared me. The thing about parents, is that they have minds of their own. They are now full blown people, and they will speak their minds, and form perfectly grammatical sentences to criticize you. Once again, it teaches one of the most important life lessons: to shake off what others say.

6. You can already see personalities and social norms start to form.

You know all the stereotypes of growing up and social stuff: the cliques, boys being too cool to do stuff, outcasts: you can already see that start to form, even at such a young age. Throughout my week at theatre camp, I could see all of these traits start to form. For example, we were all playing this dancing game, and I could see a lot of young boys moving and having a great time dancing to the music. When they saw their guy friends in a corner refusing to move, they joined them. It was just another reinforcement of the stereotype of guys trying to fit in, or not show interest and excitement in anything. I’ve seen that so much in my somewhat adult life, and now I was watching it in the life of a child. The week was strange for me, because I was reminded of many of the personal things that had happened to me when I was young, and how they formed who I am today. Never forget that everything you do with a child does affect them; you have certain moments that changed you, and you might be contributing to the formation of a potential personality.

7. You hate to admit it, but you do grow to love each child you work with.

During the past week, I noticed that when I went on my hour break during the day, I had separation anxiety. I found myself worrying about whether my group of kids would get to class safely, or if they were okay. Looking back, I did care deeply for each kid. I worried about their happiness, and I worried about their well-being. But you know that you can’t get attached, because in the end, you can’t work with them forever. The week always comes to an end.

8. You will never get over the fact that you are responsible for lives.

The weird thing about working with children this week, was that I had numerous moments where I realized that I was responsible for lives, and that I was terrified. The thing was, I had worked with kids since my sophomore year of high school, but I only started having the realization that kids looked at me as an adult figure. I think the reason why I was having this thought so much during the week is because I am now a college student, living on her own for the first time. Maybe I was just more weirded out because there was the juxtaposition of looking after children and going back to my dorm to eat microwave ramen. In other words, I can barely take care of myself: but somehow, I can take care of others.

9. You need to call and thank your mother more.

Something that I tell everyone I know is to at least work with children once, because it gives you a greater appreciation of your parents. I still remember every time I babysat, I would get into my mom’s car, and ask her how she did everything that she did. I am already a pretty difficult person, so I would often ask my mother how she was able to put up with me for 19 years, and put up with my brother for 24 years. You begin to think back on your childhood, and think about all of the things your parents did for you, and all the times they did get angry or frustrated with you. You often ask yourself how a parent could every yell at their child, and we often shame parents for losing their patience with their kid. When you work with children, you understand their frustration. Pretty much, you learn that your parents have done too much for you, and you never will be able to do enough to thank them.

10. Most importantly: be the kind of person you’d want a kid to be.

The biggest revealing moment I had this week was when I was trying to give my group of children instructions. They were all extremely sassy, and they were responding with witty comments. I was extremely frustrated by them. I began to think about myself, and realize that I am a very sassy person. I take pride in the fact that I am witty. But sometimes, I do go too far in order to be funny and cool. But then, I thought about the young girl who fought back against me, and I realized: when I’m being sassy to people, are they just as annoyed? Have I come off as mean, when I didn’t mean to? I thought about my kids, and saw some of myself in each of them. The girl's comment seemed like something that I would do. That was when I realized how much my actions and what I do affect the others around me. I couldn’t be a hypocrite to this girl. I couldn’t be a hypocrite to the kids I worked with. I wanted to set a good example for these kids. Because in the end, the kids you take care of are the future of this world. They look at you, and see what you do. They notice it, and absorb it. And so, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from this week, is that I want to be a person of the future: I want to be a good human being.