From age 18 and not being able to even leave my house due to anxiety, to age 22 and moving 500 miles from my hometown. During the year and a half of living in Tennessee, I learned so much about myself, as well as other people. I literally dug myself out of my comfort zone and that is when my whole world opened up. I originally planned on moving all by myself, going to college, and just acting like it was going to be easy. A girl from my hometown, decided to come with me, and even though we weren't that close, we were friends through sports and growing up in the same community. After we moved, we spent the first two weeks driving around the city trying to familiarize ourselves with it while also putting in a million job applications. We both gained jobs and then started forming our own lives outside of just being with each other. Even though we live completely different lifestyles, we both understand each other. That’s what brings me to my first lesson learned.

1. Opposites attract

Now, I don’t mean this in a relationship way in this situation, but I do mean it in a friendship way. We both lived our own lives while being roommates, but at the end of the day, we always shared great conversations. We would tell one another what has happened and laughed with each other, knowing that we weren’t being judged. Just because she did something I wouldn’t do or I did something she wouldn’t do, didn't mean we couldn't be friends. It was like a new adventure every time we talked because we would get to experience it vicariously through someone else. Of course we share some interests, and have other things in common or else we wouldn’t of been able to stand each other, but it has shown me that you can appreciate someone else for who they are and not who you think they should be. She may not have been able to relate through experience what it’s like to take care of a long distance relationship, but she would’ve been the first one to have my back when it came to someone threatening it.

2. What I thought I wanted for myself isn’t what I wanted at all

When I move to Tennessee I had a dream. It was a vision that I would be playing music and songwriting with others. So, I did a co-write and I started looking for people to play with. I ended up doing most of my music in my room and writing by myself in my songbook. I've learned more about the music business than I’ve wanted to and after eight months had gone by, I realized that it just wasn’t for me. Writing by myself is magical and I will always do that, but playing music without all your friends or family around just isn’t the same.

3. Moving eight hours away from your parents means ACTUALLY growing up

When you move out 15 minutes down the road from your parents you will learn that the dishes don’t wash themselves and the toilet paper doesn’t restock automatically. When you move eight hours away from your parents you realize nobody can just drive over to start your dead car, and that flat tire you just got means you better start researching to find the cheapest place to get a new one while figuring out a ride to get there. I had to become completely self sufficient. Nothing is as easy as being able to call up Daddy and he says, “Be there in 10 minutes.” Another part of growing up I haven't enjoyed, is when my tummy hurts and I can’t just call up Mama to come take care of me. Anyone knows that there is nothing like being next to your Mama when you’re sick. Moving away has forced me to grow up, A LOT.

4. Family means more to you than you realize

I’m not going to lie. When I left, one of my motivations behind it was to get away from the negative energy that comes with divorce. I couldn't wait to not have to hear anything about it anymore. I could just ignore the phone calls that were coming through and not respond to the texts either. I was really worried about leaving my little sister. We became the closest that we’ve ever been at the time that I decided to leave and leaving her there was the hardest decision of it all. One of the ways I realized how important family is, is when I lost my dog. Not being able to be with my mom during that tough time for the both of us was really hard to swallow. We shared a bond through our dog and it was extremely difficult dealing with that on my own. The following days crying by myself, at the most random times while my immunity was down and developing strep throat, made me realize how lonely I felt. I've learned that I don’t want to deal with heartache, sickness, or anything else alone.

5. You find out who your friends are

Sure, it’s real easy to schedule plans with someone who lives down the road to meet up for lunch, but who remembers you when you’re out of sight? For me, it was my family, my boyfriend, and a few good friends. Understandably, I lived there for a year and a half, but this is about the ones who told you they were coming and never showed up. Now, obviously I understand that everyone my age is either in college or trying to start their life and actually make a few dollars profit, but what about when I came back home? When I was literally down the street like when before I moved? The ones who made plans with me and maybe didn't have time because I came back on such short notice but still fit me in because they cared. Those are things I will never forget. To anyone who has reached out just to see how life was going there and to show me that even though we haven’t seen each other in awhile, you haven’t forgotten about me and cared about how I was doing, thank you!

6. My relationship is right

Not many people meet someone who is moving eight hours away and think, “Yeah, I still want to pursue that.” Our time apart from each other has shown me that being with him is certain. Certain means unquestionable, doubtless, and unmistakable. There has never been any question, or doubt in my mind, that being with my boyfriend isn't a mistake. Making the decision to do long distance together wasn’t easy and it also wasn’t a smooth ride. Even though being far has taught me that my relationship can outlast distance, limited communication, and anything that tries to get in the way, I wouldn’t recommend it to just anyone because long distance isn’t just for anyone and everyone. It takes a completely different level of trust and keeping God at the center the whole time. Relationships are already hard work, and everything else that comes with long distance added on top of it makes it nearly impossible. That is why I am so grateful for the man I have been given. He didn’t have to do this with me. He could’ve chosen to be with someone who could hangout whenever they wanted to, and hold hands during an argument, but instead he chose phone calls and hoping for monthly visits.

7. Just do it

Move away, face your fears, take a leap of faith, because you never really know how strong you are until being strong is all you have. They say life begins at the end of your comfort zone and I couldn’t agree more. You may be feeling like you need to go figure out who you really are and your place in this world. Just do it! Be sure to bring a few bucks and never forget the power of prayer.

I have learned so much from moving to another state and out of my comfort zone. I’ve been forced to face one of my fears and ride on a plane for the first time. There are just things I never would’ve seen or experienced had I never left my small town. I extremely appreciate where I came from more now that I have left and come back. I think it’s important to venture out and discover yourself, but to always remember where you first laid your footprints. If the road leads you back home like it did for me, that’s great too. But, you will never know until you leave and find out for yourself.