We all know how to love, it’s in our human nature. But sometimes, who or what we love can change what the overall experience of love is like. I thought all love was the same that was until I began loving someone with a Traumatic Brain Injury.
That someone I love is my older brother. We are two years apart but seven years ago something much bigger than age began to separate us. And that something was a brain injury.
It started just like another typical Monday for our family but it ended much differently. It was on that average day that a reckless teen driver took everything but my brother’s life. Although my brother survived this accident a large piece of him did not. You may be confused by this statement but if you knew someone with a brain injury you would understand.
Brain injuries take away from the person they are affecting whether it be the individual’s ability to walk or talk it all depends on the injury itself. Every injury is different making everyone’s experience with it hard to compare and even more difficult to completely comprehend.
Loving someone with TBI is like longing for someone you once had and holding on to what you have left as tightly as possibly. You mourn what you have lost but celebrate what you still have. It is in this limbo that we often find ourselves caught between sadness and happiness. The emotions you experience are a constant rollercoaster of ups and downs.
There are always good days but with those, bad days come along. Days where you find yourself in puddles of tears at the thought of the person you wish you could have back. Sometimes it’s just the thought of their old smile or laugh that can trigger endless waterworks. It is through the tears that you have to pick your chin up and be strong for the one you love because it is the ultimate struggle for them.
You need to be their rock, their light at the end of a tunnel even when you feel like you are in the dark. When you love someone, you offer them as much support as you can but when you love someone with TBI you need to give even more support than that. They look at you the same as they did before their injury and you need to do the same. As hard as it is on you, it is so much harder on them.
Loving someone with TBI is challenging because you give them all your love and you still feel like it is not enough. While loving someone with TBI, you learn how large your heart really is, how strong you really are and how the support you offer makes such a difference.
I love someone with TBI and my heart is so much stronger because I do.
