Depression is no laughing matter. About 6.7 percent of the U.S. population over 18 has depression, that's about 14.8 million adults. Living with depression is something I personally have dealt with. It is my hope that my story will better educate people on how to help someone with depression.

When I was in 5th grade, I was about 100 pounds, healthy, happy, but then middle school happened. During the summer before I started middle school puberty hit and I was starting the basic transition into becoming a woman. Nothing extreme happened, but to others it was extreme because I was one of the first to hit puberty in my class. I was almost one year older than most of my classmates, which meant I hit puberty before most others did. I was a healthy 120-130 pounds, but to everyone else who was still 100-110, I was fat. However, being called fat is not what people chose to say, they chose to spread the rumor that i was a whore, and I was pregnant.

It all started in 6th grade, people would stare at me and whisper, and it wasn’t until I asked someone to say what they had to say to my face that I even realized that they were saying these disgusting things about me. I of course defended myself, but that only fueled the fire, in middle school denial means it must be true. It escalated to people screaming at me, calling me a whore, and a slut. At one point someone punched me in the stomach and yelled, “Did I kill it?!” All the while I was making weekly appointment with the guidance counselor to tell her about what was going on, but it was always the same thing, “We can’t do anything because we didn’t see it happen.” How is that at all going to make me feel better? It didn’t. Nothing at all happened to anyone responsible until I fought with someone because of the things they were calling me and because they were pushing me around. However, I also got punished, I got punished for defending myself. My mother fought back, telling the principal if she loses me over this, she will come after them with everything she’s got. Still, nothing was ever done.

During all the ridicule and hatred being thrown toward me, I started falling into a deep depression. I remember thinking that there was no reason for me to be alive anymore. I never talked to my family, I would come home and go into my room and lock the door. While in my room I would use a lighter to burn myself and objects. It seemed like an easier way to deal with my depression. It was a rainy day when I took a bottle of pills from the bathroom cabinet and swallowed them without looking back. I woke up the next day not knowing where I was. I didn’t tell anyone about this until now, other than my mother, who found out years after it had happened. She knew I was depressed, she just didn’t know how badly. I started professional counseling and it was the best thing that could have happened to me. It pulled me out of my depression because I was able to talk to someone about my problems that actually listened and tried to help. I slowly battled my depression, I am still battling my depression. There are times when people say something to hurt my feelings and I say it doesn’t get to me, but it does. I am still fighting depression because of people making fun of me. Bullying at any age is unacceptable, I of all people will speak for anyone that is being bullied and is afraid to speak up. Depression is not a laughing matter, not at all. If you know someone with depression, always make sure they know how much you love them. That’s all I needed, was a friend to tell me every day that they loved me. If you or someone you know has depression and you fear they may commit suicide, keep this number handy, give it to them, you don’t know how many times I have called for someone because I didn’t want them to end up like me. I am lucky to be alive today, and that is why I am telling my story. Depression is a serious matter, my hope is that some day we can get that 6.7 percent down to 0.

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