Many people have been in a toxic relationship at some point in their life. Whether it's a friendship, a relationship between you and a family member, or a romantic relationship, it has the ability to be toxic. Some people are in a toxic relationship and realize that, but don't know how they can get out of it safely, and some people don't even know that their relationship is hurting them.
A toxic relationship is one where at least one person is often insulting, manipulative, hurtful, extremely selfish, or blames the other person for things that weren't even their fault. Sometimes, it can be hard to tell whether you're in an emotionally abusive relationship because that person can be very good at manipulating and making it seem like it is your fault rather than theirs when they do something upsetting. If you love that person, you're constantly denying in your head that they are abusive and toxic. You might be thinking, "it really is all my fault that __ happened". Here's something to remember; It's not your fault.Â
A toxic person can have a group of friends and even family that will stick up for and promote their awful behavior and gang up on you. This type of manipulation is probably the worst, because it's not only one person telling you that you're in the wrong, when they're actually the one who is doing the wrong thing. You feel surrounded by people yelling at you and criticizing you for every little move you make. For example, a jealous significant other might judge you for going to see friends instead of them, even if you were with your significant other every day for the past week. Their friends will most likely stick up for them and tell you that you shouldn't be doing things without your boyfriend/girlfriend around, and that they would get jealous and angry too. Having not only one person, but several people guilt tripping you is a terrible feeling. If you're in this situation or something similar, trust me; You are not the one in the wrong, and you did nothing to deserve being guilt-tripped, no matter how many people are telling you you're wrong.
It can make it even more difficult when you try to separate yourself from the abusive relationship. They will guilt trip you and make you feel like absolute trash for wanting to leave them. They'll say things along the lines of "We can work this out, but you're not willing to try." or "I've been doing better, I did ___ recently!", after you've given them so many "second" chances that you lost count of them. They'll say that they love you and care about you, but once you go back to that person, they either revert back to their old selves immediately, or their good behavior lasts for about a week and then they change for the worse again. It becomes a cycle of that person treating you poorly, you trying to leave them, then taking them back because of them either making you feel guilty or making you think that they'll change, although they never do.
After the nth time that you've given them a "second" chance, it's time to leave that person behind for good. If they refuse to change, make you feel guilty for things that are completely bizarre, or gang up on and berate you, it means that you need to do yourself an enormous favor and get rid of them as soon as possible. Block them on every social media account, block their friends and family, get yourself out of situations where you would be around them in person, and don't let them contact you just so they can beg for you to come back. It will be painful, and both parties will be hurt, but it's necessary. Don't let yourself stay stuck in a toxic relationship, no matter how much you love or care about that person. The longer you stay in that situation, the more emotional pain you'll go through. It's not worth it.
