I’ve been drawing for a year. I don’t know how to draw much, so far only cartoon characters and cats, but as a visual thinker I like having an outlet for concepts that work better as pictures than words. I’m even starting to plan out a graphic novel or two. However, there is one problem: I have dysgraphia.

Dysgraphia is similar to dyslexia. It’s a condition that affects fine motor control. This affects one’s ability to write and draw. While I can sketch just fine, I find it difficult to draw smooth lines on a smaller scale. When I draw a bigger image and can use more of my whole arm, fine motor control isn’t as affected and I’m able to make passable line-art. But when I’m drawing something small, I usually keep it as a sketch, occasionally sketching over it in ink. I am going to be redesigning this character soon, but this a good example of my (lack of) drawing skills.

(don't get me started on hands)

I also have a problem with visualizing. I see what I am drawing in 3D but translating 3D to 2D is difficult and my drawings always end up flat. This is especially a problem when drawing something in ¾ view. I’m getting better at this, though. With practice, my drawings have become more lifelike. I’m also starting to incorporate lines of action into my poses.

Although I have improved a lot since I first started, I still easily get frustrated with anything requiring detail. I keep my drawings simple and cartoonish. I haven’t even attempted realism. Sometimes I worry that I’m a fraud. I’m not doing this for money, only for my own enjoyment and hopefully for the enjoyment others. However, I hesitate to call myself an “artist” in that sense. I’m an artist because I write and take photographs, not because I draw.

I’ve managed to find workarounds that have allowed me to develop a sort of style, such as sketchy lineart and simple drawings, but I worry I’m going to hit a point very soon where I won’t be able to improve anymore. A lot of people have looked at my drawings and assumed I was 12 when I drew them. I am 21, and the oldest drawing in my sketchbook is from when I was 19 or 20. This can be demoralizing, and I’ve abandoned drawing altogether a few times because of it.

Sometimes I wonder if an artist with dysgraphia is a ridiculous concept. Sometimes I wonder if my drawings actually are horrendous and nobody’s had the heart to tell me. Sometimes I wonder who I think I’m fooling with my fancy sketchbooks and colored pencils. I can barely color inside the lines in a coloring book, and I probably won’t progress much beyond sketches.

However, art is about self-expression, and I’m glad I was able to teach myself the basics of drawing. It has come in handy a few times outside of my sketchbook. I believe it is important to learn as many skills as possible, whether or not you are good at them. It can turn out to be very helpful in the future.