Nobody knows what it's truly like to always be paranoid unless they're in that situation. There is always a constant fear of "Am I good enough?" or "What could I do wrong next?" It takes a lot out of a person. You try so hard to be fearless, but really all that runs through your head is fear.
Being hurt one time, scars you forever. The hurt that you once experienced lingers in your thoughts for several years to come. Faking a smile becomes a hobby because you don't want the constant questions as to what's wrong. When you love, you love hard. When you get a hint of sadness, it seems like the world is ending.
Trying to explain it is nearly impossible, because they'll just think you're crazy. Nobody will truly understand the thoughts that go through your head. If they understand, others think they too are just as crazy. Sometimes you just try, and try, and try, and no matter what there's always something you say to make somebody mad at you.
If you feel like you're not good enough, you are. There is a purpose for every single person in this world, no matter how bad the day may be. There is light at the end of the tunnel. One day you will find your purpose, and you'll be a bit happier with life. Never let anyone dull your sparkle and tell you differently. "Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride." That's my life motto, and it gets me through each day. Life's a windy roller coaster. So just hold on, keep your head up, and enjoy the ride. There's always better days to come.
