Being in love is hard enough, but add anxiety to the mix? You can guess how messy it gets. We want to be loved but we're not quite sure how to accept it, how to let our walls down and let it be given to us. We're not sure how to be around someone all the time and believe that they really want to be with us without wanting something in return.
What's it like to love someone with anxiety?
It's us waking you up with random anxiety attacks at 3 a.m. It's us having to change plans because we're so suffocated by it all that "we don't feel up to it" anymore. It's breaking down their walls.
What's it like to love someone with anxiety?
It's being accepting. It's accepting the things that you can't understand. It's accepting that there are going to be times that we're going to be upset and panicked for reasons we can't even begin to explain. It's accepting that we're doing the best we can even if it doesn't feel that way. It's accepting that sometimes all we need is for you to hug us and tell us it will all be okay, even if we don't believe you.
What's it like to love someone with anxiety?
It's reassuring us. It's reassuring us even when it feels like it's not helping, because it is.
"Yes, I want to hang out with you."
"No, you're not a burden."
"Yes, you're the one I want to be with."
"No, you're pretty/smart/nice/caring enough"
"Yes. You are enough."
"You are worth it."
It's letting us know that we're worth the reassurance, and the panic attacks that you willingly sit through, and the worrying rants about the future that you listen to. It's letting us know that we're worth the sleepless nights and hard times, and that we're worth the moments where we need you to hold us tight because we feel like we can't put ourselves back together. It's letting us know that we're worth the rearranging and the thinking twice about what you say and do because it could make us spiral in the worst kind of way. It's letting us know that you love us despite it all.
What's it like loving someone with anxiety?
It's having someone who will do just about anything and everything for you. It's having someone who will always be grateful for everything you do, because we know loving us is a lot. It's having someone who will remember the little things about you and those stories and moments that sometimes escape you. It's having someone who won't flinch when you're having a bad day because we know all about those. It's about having someone who is unconditionally empathetic. It's having someone who understands the concept of needing to be alone, because we need it constantly to escape from the worries. It's having someone that you can just rant to so you can get it out, because we know how sometimes things can just light up inside of you until you want to explode and sometimes it's simply just needing someone to be there to listen you're not hearing it echo over and over again in your own head. It's having someone who is going to be selfless with you, even when we shouldn't, because we couldn't imagine doing it any other way.
What's it like loving someone with anxiety?
It's opening your eyes to see things in a new way. It's realizing the weight of your words and actions and understanding how much it can affect a person. It's seeing that the things that you thought didn't matter really do. It's knowing that the littlest things count and they really can change how people feel about their day, and more importantly, themselves. It's learning that people around you are suffering through things that you can't even imagine or begin to understand but being sympathetic, and most importantly empathetic, towards them anyway. It's finding out that there aren't always answers to what's happening but there is always something you can do, even if it seems small.
What's it like loving someone with anxiety?
It's this and many more things I could never put into words. Everything that you're doing to support us means the entire world.