re·la·tion·ship

NOUN

the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

hook·up

NOUN

a casual sexual encounter.

Now that everyone knows the Google definition of both relationship and a hook up, let’s get straight to it. What is it TRULY like to fall in love in a hook up culture? It’s not easy, let me tell you. As a college freshman, on a mostly male campus, it’s hard to find something serious. Not only is it hard because you’re in an environment that you’re not quite used to yet, but also because society has taught us that being the “hook up culture” is okay.

Typically, most students go into their freshman year of college not looking for a relationship. Makes sense, right? I mean, we’re all new to campus, new to being on our own, and wanting to do our own thing. Now, I have heard plenty of girls and guys openly talk about wanting a relationship, but they don’t know how to approach it.

College is also a time where you may (or may not) go outside your comfort zone and go to parties. Here is where things get sticky (most of the time). Let’s say, you see a cute guy or girl, and you approach them to start a conversation. Now, I don’t know if I’m the only one, but if a boy approached me at a party, I would think that he had one thing in mind. He didn’t want to go home alone that night. I’m sure guys think the same exact thing if a girl approaches them. Some of the time, people approach you to genuinely get to know you, but it’s no secret that a hook up is the first thing that crosses our minds when someone approaches us in a social setting.

Once you do finally start talking and getting to know someone, it can get real complicated, real fast. People can get led on, or the person you’re talking to may be talking to other people also, and then things end fast. Starting to fall for someone is something so simple, yet so terrifying. In a hook up culture like this, it’s hard to know what may happen, and it can lead to a ton of trust issues and commitment problems. That’s the sad part. You can have the person of your dreams right in front of you, and you could screw it up just to have fun.

I saw a tweet once that said, “You can pick up ten pennies off the ground, or you can catch one dime, so you choose.” I think people need to keep this in mind when thinking about what they want. This hook up culture is not going to change, but people could easily realize that they would much rather have more than a one-night stand. As much fun as hopping from person to person sounds (sarcastic), I would much rather have one person down for me than to waste my time with people who mean nothing but a hook-up. And that folks, is what it’s like to be living in a hook up culture when you’re not with it.