Introversion is nothing new or unfamiliar. As consumers of online articles hosted by the likes of the mammoth BuzzFeed or our very own Odyssey, we have seen a variety of articles that focus on the pains and struggles of going through life as an introvert stuck in an extrovert world. Because we can never read enough about the same topic written in a numerous different ways, it is clear that I need to add to this rapidly growing catalog.
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This summer, I had the joy of working a coveted internship with one of the largest charter school networks in the U.S. I applied hoping to teach high school students about history and slip in sneaky little tidbits about social justice in hopes of enlightening their clearly miserable teenage lives. Sadly, I was placed in middle school. I had to teach rising 6th graders, 11-year olds, how to write. Needless to say, it was a struggle for me. Add in the fact that I am from Leavenworth, KS and have been teased on occasion for sounding "white" while the students are native Brooklynites and black like me, only cooler, and, of course, this job went from a dream to something only short of a disaster. And so, I will provide a detailed list of why working as an awkward, introverted individual in jobs like teaching can be extremely difficult and always embarrassing.
Reasons on why being an introvert teacher is the worst
1. Talking in front of people is hard, especially when they are judgmental pre teens with the best/worst insults.
2. It's hard to tell others what to do when really all you want to do is curl up in bed, get on Tumblr, and maybe stare at Korean boy bands all day. I think the kids could tell something was up...
3. Working in some workplaces involves being an actor-acting like you enjoy your job.
4. My mentor teacher, an experienced teacher who coached me in how-not-to-ruin-the-kids, repeatedly told me that teaching was like performing, a nightmare as far as I was concerned.
5. Your coworkers want to talk to you, but sadly you are too weird, awkward, and stressed from having to socially interact with equally strange eleven year olds.
6. Even if you are exhausted, you are still expected to hangout with your coworkers outside of work occasionally in order to not be the office/school pariah. But that is of course unbearable for introverts who would rather watch Netflix and chill with a glass of wine.
7. Children can pick up on your weakness and exploit them, such as when one of my students mocked me for having an LG phone instead of an iPhone, or at the very least a Samsung.
8. Talking to parents/bosses always is awkward, especially when you are nervous, young, and clearly inexperienced. They can smell the fear.
9. As you teach or work with people in general, you do a lot of nervous sweating and it becomes weird. And makes you feel more nervous, if you didn’t already.
10. You say strange things to cover up your awkwardness while teaching which results in you becoming more nervous, and looking more nervous, and so the cycle continues.
This list is exhaustive and I could probably continue on for a while-but I won't in order to save myself the embarrassment. Being an introvert is still a huge part of my identity and I wouldn't change it for the world. It just makes some experiences memorable and pretty strange. Teaching is the ultimate performance, as a result I often felt uncomfortable being forced to step into a role that seemed inauthentic. This discomfort is present in many jobs for those who are introverted, or just awkward in general. The good thing about this that you will adjust and learn to become comfortable in your work. Or you will just move on (me), and find a career far away from the company of other humans.
