Now when I say “fall too hard,” I don’t necessarily mean falling in love with someone, but it can relate to those who just “fall in like” with someone as well as those who fall in love. It all comes from having a big, caring heart. There are many advantages and disadvantages to having that kind of heart. The advantages are that we will always care for the ones we love, have the ability to be kind to strangers on the street, and will love our future spouses with great ferocity. The disadvantages are what make having a big heart so difficult. They include falling for someone who doesn’t have as strong feelings for you, putting too much trust in someone to later get hurt and the potential to go through heartbreak longer than others. In my life recently, I have been experiencing the disadvantages of having such a big heart which led me to write this article. One of the hardest things of having a big, caring heart is falling too hard for someone who doesn’t feel toward you as strongly.
At some point in every woman’s life, God will place a man in your life for some unknown reason at the time. You will begin to find a friendship with him, get to know each other, find similarities and few differences in each other, and then meet their friends. Eventually you will begin to grow fonder of being in the other’s presence and gain even more feelings for each other. This will lead to the first date and admitting your feelings to each other. For awhile, you might second guess one another’s feelings, and so you won’t be sure if you want to date yet. Later, a second date comes which leads to a third, then a fourth and then a fifth date. After several dates, you finally admit they you do both like each other and plan to eventually date after getting to know each other even more.
The best part has come! You’ve reached the point to finally put a title on you two and finally make what you have together into an actual relationship. You are finally his girlfriend and him your boyfriend. This is what you had always wanted from the beginning. You believe that he had wanted the same thing since you two first started developing those feelings. Your life finally feels like it’s starting to fall into place. You are finally happy and in a relationship. This is where God has planned for you to go. Now, you begin to act as boyfriend and girlfriend with the typical pet names such as babe, baby, sweetheart, dear and everything else. You go on dates with one another and sometimes just lay around watching whatever you are binge-watching on Netflix at the time. Then one of the best parts finally comes. You have your first kiss and it may seem awkward at first. Then comes the second and third and fourth and so on. After the first kiss, every kiss seems even more magical than the last. Maybe you even get to the point of saying the coveted words of “I love you” to each other and meaning it wholeheartedly every time. If one of you is sick, then you go and care for the other; you do this by cooking soup, making hot tea, cuddling while watching Netflix and giving you medicine. If one of you has a bad week, you make a visit to try to cheer them up by spending time with them doing whatever they like and letting them vent about what happened. Life seems perfect where you are at this very moment, and you never want it to end.
The day you either never thought would come or at least not come for a very long time is here. You start out having a normal conversation like you do every day but somehow it turns negative. Y’all begin to fight over something that seemed so small at first but is a bigger deal now that it’s here. The fight lasts the majority of the day and into the night. Eventually, you both apologize to each other for being rude, and talk it out like mature adults. This goes on for a couple more hours, and you think that it’ll end in a compromise, then the relationship will just continue on. But then it happens. Those five words are said. The five most dreaded words in any relationship. “We need to break up.” These are hard for anyone to hear no matter the situation. You break down into an emotional mess, and it begins to feel like nothing in your life is going right. You both decide that’ll be a good idea for you to at least keep the friendship that y’all built. This may take time, but eventually it’ll get back there. Going through a breakup is hard for anyone, but if you’re one of us girls that falls too hard, then it’s especially tough. It may seem like the end of the world now, but someday everything will fall back into place again.
So to those of you girls who have experienced anything similar to this situation or fall too hard, just know that it does get better. You will be able to remain friends after awhile. You will find the man you are meant to marry and he will love you wholeheartedly. You will find someone who can handle you even when you look your worst and when you look your best. You will pick up the pieces of your broken heart and move on with your life. You will get through this. Pray and you will persevere and get over it. It may be tough to have a caring heart and for you to fall too hard, but that’s what makes us special. Someday we will find someone who can handle how hard we fall, love us even with the baggage we carry, and see how caring we truly are. This doesn't mean that you should go hating the man who breaks your heart. Thank him for the good times that he did give you, and if you do choose to remain friends, cherish that friendship because it is so special. I'm going to leave you with three scriptures that I've used to get through these tough times.
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." -Psalm 147:3
"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it". -Proverbs 4:23
"God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day." -Psalm 46:5
