What It's Like Dating A Realist | The Odyssey Online
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What It's Like Dating A Realist

I don't believe one man can "have it all"

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What It's Like Dating A Realist
thoughtcatalog

In a serious relationship, you either get married or you break up.

From the first week I'm in a relationship, this thought crosses my mind. I'm a realist. I face reality head on, and I don't sugar coat my life. I don't hope for the best or plan for the worst because I work to make life exactly what I want it to be. I plan meticulously. I understand that I can either succeed at something or fail, and I can make the choice to reach either of those outcomes. I don't really believe in destiny -- I believe that life truly is what you make of it.

So when I start liking someone enough to possibly date long term, I evaluate the strength of the relationship. I face the reality of the situation. If we want different things, why bother wasting both of our time and emotions on a relationship that's doomed to fail? By different things, I mean serious, deal-breaking differences, like having kids or having completely different career trajectories.

When you're a realist, there isn't time for flings or non-exclusive relationships. Why spend weeks wasting time with someone you know you're not going to marry when there are thousands of other men to consider?

And that's the other thing -- there are thousands of other men to consider. How can you find every single quality you look for in a relationship and have all of your needs and desires met by one man? I don't think you can. I don't think one man can satisfy every qualification.

Some would argue that when you meet the "right guy," those qualifications don't matter. But my argument is, why settle? Why settle for one person that doesn't completely and totally make you happy?

So I don't. I enter into serious relationships with men that want the same kind of satisfactions out of life, but when they don't meet all of the expectations I have in a relationship, I bail. That's why many people say that you shouldn't have any expectations out of life or men or friends because you'll always be disappointed.

As a realist, I won't be. I believe that one person cannot "have it all," so I don't know that I'll ever settle for one. Life is short, so why waste time with one person that doesn't have everything you're looking for? Why have relationships that are doomed to fail? Yes, these relationships may give you life changing experiences or teach you different lessons, but for a realist, they just waste time.

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