"Oh my gosh, she's so bipolar" is something a lot of people are used to saying, even I'm guilty of saying it. But what many people don't know is what it's really like to have bipolar disorder.

In 2015 I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I thought my whole life was over. Everything the media told me about bipolar was that they were crazy emotional with mood swings and desperately wanted the doctor to be wrong. After a few more doctor appointments, therapy sessions, and medicine adjustments I started to accept the fact that I was bipolar, that I was one of the crazy ones.

I hid my diagnosis from people for a long time. I would take my medicine secretly so others wouldn't ask what it was for, and I would call my therapy appointments "doctors appointments" just so I wouldn't have to explain those either. I don't know if I was ashamed of having a mental illness or if I was afraid of people looking at me differently because now I wasn't just Erica, I was Erica with bipolar.

Eventually, I got tired. I was tired of hiding a part of me. I didn't want to be ashamed anymore of who I was. My friends started asking questions and I started being honest. Telling them my diagnosis, why I take medicine and why I go to therapy. And it brought so much healing. I was able to start the conversation with people and not only be honest with them but educate them on mental health.

Being able to use my diagnosis to educate others has made it all worth it. There have been countless times that I have been able to be vulnerable with people, share my story, and encourage them through their tough times. Being a part of the mental health community has been one of the most unexpected yet greatest joys of my life and I am honored to be able to continue to use my story to help others.