INFJ : "Advocate Personality. This personality type is very rare, making up less than one percent of the population, but the nonetheless leave their mark on the world."
- 16Personalities
The introverted, intuitive, feeler, judger is one of the rarest personalities of all, and I have it. I also happen to have red hair and blue eyes, which is the rarest hair-eye color combination in the world. So in reality, I guess I'm just an extremely rare type of human. What many don't know is that being an INFJ can be exhausting, rewarding, and anywhere in between. Having an INFJ personality is a constant internal struggle that others may never understand. While some may be surprised as a result of my personality type, there are many things that people don't know about us. All in all, here is my opinion on what it's like being an INFJ.
On a day to day basis, I could be sitting in a room surrounded by a large group of people or walking down the street and my mind will be spinning. I constantly feel like I'm living in a moment of deja-vu. I can see past experiences and picture things that happened right where I was walking, or at least I feel this way. I see all of these people and wonder where they are going, what they are thinking at that moment, and what their personal life is like. I watch them, not to be mistaken as creepy, to try and understand who they are. This is both a blessing and a curse. While being able to understand other people has its perks, INFJ's tend to see the negative in others that most don't see. We tend to catch on to someones egocentric drive and how they truly act in different situations. We watch people adapt to their surroundings in an attempt to blend in. We watch people transform into something superficial.
Being an INFJ also affects relationships. Since we are always trying to understand someone we either pay very close attention or none at all. We don't have a ton of friends, but that is okay with us. I have noticed, however, that many of my relationships with people only exist when I am in the same place with that person. I never tend to reach out to others that I haven't seen for awhile unless I run into them. This is definitely something that I have had to work hard on to overcome. When I am with a person, I either listen and don't talk or I do the exact opposite. If the person we are talking to doesn't seem to be interested in what we are saying, we slowly start to speak to this person less and less. We feel as if we're just bothering them, even if this isn't the case. It takes a special person for me to feel comfortable with and to be able to have a deep conversation. Once INFJ's find this person, we don't hesitate to open up.
All of this thinking leaves us exhausted. We need to have our alone time. If we say no to going to a social gathering, we seriously mean no. Don't try to push us. In social situations, we constantly feel like we are being judged. For me, I need to create an environment where everyone is okay with me being there. I need to feel accepted by others. If I don't, I feel as if I have failed and this leads to me secluding myself from the world.
When I gain the motivation to achieve something, it's all or nothing. I find a spark for maybe two or three days until I realize that I didn't achieve this goal fast enough and my motivation runs out. It constantly feels like I am trying to move, but I'm going in slow motion. The world around me seems to move too fast, and I want to connect but I just can't. This causes me to put myself in a bubble and close myself off from those around me. It takes time, but eventually after not talking to someone for days and sometimes weeks on end, I will recover and suddenly want to catch up out of nowhere. This cycle repeats over and over again.
I'm not sure if it is just an INFJ personality, but I always want to be making a difference. In everything I do, if I am not able to change something or help someone else, I feel like I am not doing something productive. INFJ's often overthink about things so much that we question if we personally are okay. We burn out easily and push people away yet other times all we want to do is talk your ear off.
Being an INFJ is one of the weirdest things I will ever probably try to explain. Even though it is exhausting, I wouldn't change the way I view the world for anything. I may never fully be able to understand being an INFJ, but I guess that is just what makes us so unique.
