Let's face it, I'm just lucky to have a teaching job right now. I struggled finding a job. I applied for months, put in 20+ applications for teaching positions, and multiple interviews. I honestly thought that I wouldn't even be able to get a job. I know some districts who weren't even accepting new hires for the upcoming school year because they didn't know what COVID would hold. Places I interviewed at would hire staff that had prior teaching experience, especially due to not knowing what the COVID situation would be. I buckled up and applied to places an hour away and thankfully I got my dream position in a wonderful school who is taking the chance because the believe in me.

I'm also extremely grateful that our students are doing in person learning at the moment. They needed to be back in the classroom. Virtual just doesn't substitute for in person teaching. So many families and students didn't actually complete the work and fell behind. Seeing the joy on the students faces about being back in the classroom, it's just unexplainable. They are so stinking happy to be back at school in a routine and being able to see their friends.

What I am sad about it how many new rules there are for myself and the students to remember. Things change everyday and it's really overwhelming. If I as an almost 24 year old teacher think it's overwhelming, I can't imagine what the students are thinking inside. Not being able to hug their friends or teachers. Not being able to share classroom supplies. Not being able to sit next to each other in the classroom, having to have their desks six feet apart. It's just hard. It's hard to not do things how we used to do them. It's hard to have a new "normal".

I feel like there's so many things I don't know or that I need to know about teaching in the classroom that I don't just simply because everybody is so fixated on the pandemic right now that they just have forgotten to tell me things. I feel like a bother by asking all of the questions I've been asking, but I just feel lost.

I'm scared that we'll have to go virtual eventually and we won't get to do things like a classroom Halloween party, learn to tell time, leveling up on our reading books, or even watching The Polar Express before we leave for Christmas break. I feel like I already had some of my student teaching cut and now I have the possibility of getting some of my first year teaching cut. I worry about the kids most importantly. They need the loving and caring environment. They need a safe place. They need somebody who will give them all eyes and ears who is willing to help them move forward. They need school.

I pray that eventually things will calm down and there's a time again where we don't have to worry about having to leave school for virtual learning.