Nothing is worse during the holidays than looking at the empty chair sitting across from you at the Thanksgiving table, or realizing that there is one less present you have to buy at Christmas.
No matter how long someone has been gone, you miss them every single day. There isn't a day you don't think of them and their smile. But as time goes on, you get used to the pain they left behind, except around the holidays. The holidays are supposed to be a happy time, a time to spend with family and friends. But, somehow there is always something missing with them gone.
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My grandpa has been gone for 9 years. That is 9 years without him at Thanksgiving. 9 years without him celebrating Christmas. And 9 years without him bringing in the New Year cheer. Yet somehow, through those nine years, I have gotten used to the feeling of loss, of him not being there. But, every year, whether it was the first year he was gone, or this year, the ninth year he has been gone, the holidays never get easier. There is always a feeling of loss. A feeling that something is missing. Things just aren't right without him there celebrating with us.
As the holidays approach rapidly, I begin to feel the same familiar pain that I felt the year before. For some reason snow isn't as pretty, the sun doesn't shine as bright and somehow the clouds seem a little darker. The feeling that something is missing comes over you and it is something you just can't shake.
As you walk into the house for Thanksgiving dinner, there is always a part of you that hopes they will be sitting there waiting to eat dinner. Or is in their familiar spot watching football waiting for everyone to get there. You hope just possibly they will walk in cheery ready to devour some great food. But, no matter how much you hope they never show up, they are never there. The spot they once sat at the dinner table is taken by someone else or is empty as can be. their favorite dessert is still sitting out on the counter untouched. There is just that one more serving of food left over for tomorrow.
As Christmas approaches, and your room fills with gifts for others, you look and search for that one gift for them, but there isn't one there. There isn't a gift for them in your pile, and their name isn't on your list of people left to buy for. There is nothing in sight for them. Taking a deep breath you continue wrapping the presents.
Christmas is here and as excited as you are to see family and friends and celebrate an amazing holiday, it just doesn't feel right. There is one person missing from the annual family photo. There is one less person sitting around the tree. One less person that partakes in the traditions you have been doing your whole life. One less person to hear the Christmas story and one less person to talk about it after. Even though you are surrounded by the many people that mean the most, there is one person missing.
But, through all the loss and feeling that someone is gone, you feel joy. You feel the joy of having your family around you celebrating and spending quality time together. Although someone is missing you reminisce on the memories you had with them. You reminisce on all the funny stories, and great gifts you have gotten through the years. You remember all the great times you have had with that one person. Even if you feel they are missing from the celebration, they are there standing beside you celebrating with you.
Through the loss and despair. Through all the sadness felt in the holidays, you can't forget about the wonderful feelings of joy. You have to remember the happiness, the togetherness. And you have to remember the greatness of having a family as great as yours, even if that person isn't there with you physically, they are still part of the happiness and your family.
Ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind. No matter how far away they may be. Heaven is just a phone call away.
