The definition of AUNT according to Merriam-Webster Dictionary states;
1: The sister of one's father or mother
2: The wife of one's uncle
But is that all an aunt is? No. I know this because I have been an aunt since I was 6 years old. Granted, becoming an aunt so young doesn't mean I fully understood what being an aunt was; that happened as I got older. Since my first niece was born, I have been blessed to have 5 more babies become my nieces and nephews, and life gets a bit crazier after each one. With ages ranging from 18 years old down to a few days old, you might think that I can just start expecting what will happen as the younger ones become older, but sadly you would be mistaken. There are things an aunt takes on as responsibilities and when there are so many children sometimes it can be tiresome, but the joy on their faces when you say it's their time with you and only their time makes up for it. Some of these responsibilities include:
1. Holding them when they cry
This seems pretty simple, but I'm not just talking about when they are babies. I mean from the moment they are born you take that job to be the one they can come to when they are upset and need someone to talk to, when something tragic happens, or when kids become big siblings for the first time and they can't control how to feel. Humans are filled with emotions no matter how old they are, and sometimes they just need to be held and told that whatever they are feeling is okay even when they think they are crying over something stupid.
2. You are their friend forever
Congratulations. Aunts become an automatic best friend. We are the ones that the next generation turns to when they need a friend. Yes, some kids turn to their parents, some turn to friends, and some just really want that person who is right in between the two and that person is an aunt.
3. You will spoil them
Even if you don't have the means to spoil them like you wish you could with amazing gifts, you spoil them with attention. I am the biggest advocate of this and 110% of the time they will enjoy and be grateful for the time they actually spend with you more than anything you could buy them.
4. It doesn't matter if they are not your children, they take a piece of your heart as soon as you hear that heartbeat or meet them for the first time
I was just reminded of this Friday night sitting in the hospital room with everyone waiting for my youngest nephew to be born. It was the first time hearing his heartbeat ever and that was enough to take his chunk of my heart. And the struggle to hold back the tears was real since I had been the only one there who hadn't heard it yet.
5. When they are hurt, you feel it too
They always say a mother feels a child's pain, but it's not just mothers. And I also don't mean if the child runs into a wall you as well feel that physical pain; that is not how this works. But more often than not if the next gen is crying to me I end up crying along with them. This happens more often than not with my oldest niece. With being the oldest, she has been through a lot and I have become not only her aunt but her best friend so she calls me, and we cry. We cry a lot.
6. Strangers get confused
Being an aunt since 6 meant I grew up with my oldest niece. We ironically just had this conversation a few days ago about how most of the time, it is more like having a little sister than a niece because of how close we are. We fangirl over the same things (Niall and Louis please notice us), we watch the same shows, our personalities are so similar, and we feel the same way. Not literally feel the same, but emotionally feel things and deal with things the same way. So when someone sees a picture of us that doesn't know how we are related there is always that somewhat awkward moment of then saying we are sisters and me correcting them telling them that I am in fact her aunt.
My sister has now 4 children, her oldest being 10, and I can't even tell you the number of times I have been asked while out with just the kids if they are mine. As much as I love them, no, they are in fact not. I have no children. Thank you for reminding me, complete stranger. This isn't an uncommon thing; sometimes you feel the need to justify yourself, other times they just say how adorable they are and I should be proud and continue to walk away. The latter choice is the times I just let it be. They are strangers; they didn't specify that they assumed they were mine, and they are freaking adorable and I am a very proud aunt, so why would I ruin that feeling? The only negative thing about this is when they see my nephew (the 10 year old) being almost as tall as me and looks his age and they assume I am his mother and then they give you that look because they are thinking about how I would have had to of been a teen mom to have had him. For the record, I was 13 when he was born, so there's that.
7. They always make you proud
Obviously, I don't mean when they are bad. But even the small things they do make you so proud of them because they did it. As we get older we seem to forget about the little things in life, but the next generation helps us to remember and appreciate those things. We get to have those proud moments when they learn to pick things up as babies, or learn to tie their shoes. We are extra proud of them when they are doing good in school or helped out someone in need. One thing my parents always taught us growing up was to always help someone when it's possible, and that is something we were all able to pass onto them. Even if it's just having water bottles in the car to give to someone that needs it.
8. Distance sucks
There isn't a nicer way to say that. I had the greatest luck living with my sister and her kids most of their lives, but I have two other nieces who I don't see often and one of which I don't get to talk to all that often. That also makes me torn on the inside because I'm seeing 3 (well now 4) every day and not the other 2. You may be thinking, “why is that such a big deal? It's normal to not all live together and to not always see family constantly” and I agree. Yet, there is that guilt when something happens good or bad and you aren't there for it. My oldest niece graduates high school this year and I can't get back to the East Coast for it and then my second oldest niece is doing musicals and plays in school and I haven't been able to go to a single show. It also makes comforting them when they need it harder since I'm 2000+ miles away from them.
I also spent 4 years away from my sister and her kids, missing two out of three kindergarten graduations, her youngest daughter learning everything after being a year and a half old, first day of school 4 times, and my nephew having his first big “big brother” incident at school when his sister was surrounded by a bunch of boys and he walked over to get them away from her by introducing himself as her big brother (who by the way was only a year older but much taller than the other boys) and his sister stood there just thinking he came over to say hi to her. It's those little things in life that make you wish teleportation was a real thing so you didn't miss so much.
Do all of the next generation know I love them no matter where I am? Yes. Do they all know I wish I could be there all the time? Yes. Does it make it any easier knowing that? Not really.
9. You pick up extra nieces and nephews.
Most of my friends all have children, so on top of the 6 that are blood related, I have even more by “adopting them”. This doesn't change the love I have for any of them, in fact it stretches it out even farther (I don't know how I still have any left, maybe that's why I'm #foreversingle). These adopted ones are treated no different from the rest. They still get my attention, the love, and the friendship of those truly related to me and they all know that. I take my Aunt title very serious, and when my best friends oldest son called me Aunt Heather for the first time I legit almost cried. But I held it together while my best friend sat there looking at me smiling knowing I was holding back the tears.
10. Nobody can ever replace you.
You are and always will be their aunt. Just writing that sentence put a smile on my face. You are one of the only people that can say that. Be happy about it. It's not a chore. It's not a bother. It's your life. Once your first is born I promise you, life will never be the same again. As they get older and multiply you will understand all of these points I have said here. They will make you laugh, cry, smile, scream, and proud everyday of their lives and it's worth every minute of it.
I saw a quote once that said: “Only an Aunt can give hugs like a mother, keep secrets like a sister, and love like a friend” and I look to that quote often especially on bad days to remind me that this is my life and it's not perfect, but I wouldn't trade the world for it.
