What do you think of when you hear the word ‘friend’?

Do you think of someone who is kind? Someone who has similar interests as you? Does anyone in particular pop into your mind right off the bat?

Or, do you think about someone who has wronged you and made you feel like your feelings are invalid? Someone who was disguised as a companion when in reality they were only an enemy?

Real, pure friendship is extremely difficult to come across, however it does happen. We all need at least that one true pal who will be there with and for us whenever we need it – and vice versa.

A true friend will often give you whatever they have to offer in your times of need, such as a listening ear, an open mind, and, every once in a while, some brutally honest advice.

They will not attempt to make all of your problems somehow lesser than their own to feel superior. Nor will they degrade or tease you about things they should know for a fact is something you prefer not to “joke” about.

My journey through the short 19 years that I’ve been alive made so much brighter by the few people I like to call my closest and best friends. Even today I’m still weeding through, finding myself and finding others who I might one day call my best friends as well. I’ve learned a lot about what true friendship looks like by watching those around me throughout the years.

As I mentioned before, no one should ever make you feel like less than you are, even if they turn around and compliment you or make fun plans with you. Everyone knows about abusive relationships when it comes to a romantic connection, but what about platonic relationships?

Friendships are relationships just like any other couple, and should be nurtured. It should not tear you down and put pressure on you to be someone you’re not. Young men and women are always trying to fit in with groups of people they don’t feel very comfortable with because they think it’s the best option for them for many reasons.

Even still, more people don’t tend to realize when a friend is being toxic and should be let go until it’s taken a toll; the important part is to finally understand and realize why you don’t need that kind of person in your life.

Take a moment to ask yourself how often they listen to you and try to keep you in their lives. Remember the times they lifted your spirits, then the times they made you feel distressed or low about yourself.

There’s a large difference between arguing with a friend and being upset or being worried about someone, and actually questioning your self-worth or quality.

“Friends are the family we choose for ourselves,” is a quote by Edna Buchanan that you may have heard. When I first read this quote, I thought about it for almost an hour afterward. Family, which often enough is considered something you have to put up with since you can’t pick any of them, is supposed to be supportive, honest, trustworthy, loyal, caring, and so many other similar attributes.

Friends are supposed to be like family in that exact way.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that a true friend is not necessarily found every day, but they do exist. I want you to think about the people in your life who make you feel empowered and take time to say hey every once in a while if you don’t see each other often. I want you to pick out the people in your life who mean the most to you and remind them how much you love them.

I appreciate my friends immensely, because without them I don’t know whether I would have even made it to college, let alone my sophomore year.

I adore them with every fiber of my being because friendship creates a stable foundation for so many things; branching out in careers, going off to college, buying your first home, finding your soulmate – behind all of that, you will always have a good friend standing by, waiting to pick you up when you fall and laugh with you when you do stupid things.

I myself am no perfect friend, and haven't been the best these past few years in particular – but I’m working on becoming better.

Friendship takes blood sweat and tears sometimes; but in the end, it's totally worth it, as long as you're both happy.

Don’t forget to be a friend to yourself, too. Cut out the people you know you need to get rid of. You deserve it. It does not make you a terrible person, I promise. Be good to you, and to those you care about.