“We’re taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side, to be optimistic. Not in this case. In this case, look on the dark side. Assume rejection first. Assume you’re the rule, not the exception.”

The first time I really fell in love was nothing short of magical. It was a "move mountains" kind of relationship where we were both just trying to out-love each other. We were long-distance, age-gapped, and in completely different hemispheres of life when we started dating but we wanted it badly enough that we both worked to make sure it thrived under the conditions. And it did for over two years. We broke up once when it got too hard and I never thought we would end up together again but six months later, we did. For the first time in my life, I was someone's exception.

The entire concept of being a rule and being an exception was pretty new to me at the time. The movie "He's Just Not That Into You" came out in the first year of our relationship but I didn't really think about it until now. The next time a boyfriend and I broke up almost two years later, I waited around because I was CONVINCED we would get back together just as I had in my previous relationship. But he moved on. I made the mistake of believing I was the exception again but I wasn't – I was the rule.

What I've realized is that you have to walk into every dating scenario understanding that before a single word is said or a single feeling is felt , YOU are the rule. You are "2+2=4" and that's never going to change. If he cheats on you, you leave him. Even though it could work out somewhere down the road, that would make you an exception to the rule, "once a cheater, always a cheater," and you are not the exception. If he breaks up with you, you move on because even though people break up and get back together sometimes, that's not the rule and YOU are the rule.

We're constantly, as women, allowing ourselves to be heartbroken and torn down by the idea that love is a fairytale. The reality is that love really is a fairytale but that doesn't mean that every guy you meet is your Prince Charming. You've got to stop giving the best of yourself to men who give you hardly anything at all. You've got to stop taking back the ones that continuously break your heart. If you're not dating him and you're already working to keep the relationship afloat, you're working for the wrong relationship. Because even though he could have a divine moment of realization, that's not the rule and YOU are the rule.