When March 30 arrived this past week, I couldn't help but think about my best friend's birthday...and how I won't be celebrating it anymore. Call me crazy, but my dog's birthday was March 30, and this was the first year without him. My dog, Baci, was a yellow labrador retriever: my first real pet. Yes, I had a plethora of hermit crabs in the past but those things don't really count. Baci was always there for me and my family if we were sad, he would always greet us when we walked in the door, and was incredibly talented (he liked to sit on the swing in my backyard).

One day, Baci started limping. We were concerned considering that this has happened twice before, both times which he tore his ACL. However, this was his front leg as opposed to his hind legs, and like any concerned pet owner, we bring him to the vet. The results were not what we expected to hear. January 25, 2016, Baci was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, a fatal bone cancer that is commonly found in large breed dogs. Any non-dog owner would not understand the pain my family went through during this time. Baci was only 7 years old, and the doctor said that he is lucky if he has two weeks to live.

Yellow labs are supposed to live to about twelve or thirteen. My family felt slighted. Why Baci? What did he do to deserve this? My mom researched every possible home remedy to keep Baci with us. She started making home-cooked meals for him, mixed flaxseed oil in his food, rubbed him in peppermint oils...you name it we tried it. Over time, he stopped limping and seemed fine. One week, two weeks, one, two, three months passed and there was no signs of him struggling. The thing with cancer is that everything can take a turn for the worst overnight. One day, he had this huge lump on his shoulder, a tumor. His entire arm was so swollen that it felt like a Tempurpedic mattress when we touched it. Long story short, he slowly lost his ability to walk, to go to the bathroom on his own, etc. It was during this time that we lost our Baci. He may have passed away 2 weeks after he took a turn for the worst, but I don't like to remember my pup in his sickly version; I wanted to remember him as the lab that never swam in the ocean (he would sit in the shallow water and hang out instead), the dog that would only steal socks and hand towels just to get your attention, and most importantly, as a trooper, lasting 4 months longer than the doctors originally predicted. When his cries of pain didn't stop, we knew that it was time for him to go.

Baci passed on May 16th, 2016, which was easily the worst day of my life. Many of my friends are non-dog owners and did not understand what I was going through. Dog owners who never experienced their pet passing did not understand what I was going through. Your dog is family, and his death was the same, if not more tragic, than those of humans. The bond that an owner has with their pet can only be understood if you experience it.

The hardest is the adjustment. The house felt empty without him barking and making his presence obvious. It was weird to come home from school and not have this giant ball of fur coming to greet you with kisses and his little "doggy dance" that he did when anyone came to the door. At first, you know that no one will ever replace your first pet, or any pet for that matter, which we learned when we found our new puppy, Boz. Boz and Baci looked very similar, but they could not be more different. You love your pets in different ways, because they have different personalities, just like people. Baci loved to eat food, while Boz is weird and will eat two bites, circle around the house a few times, and eat two more bites. Baci liked to plop down in the ocean and let the waves crash around him, while Boz swims and jumps into the crashing waves. Baci didn't like other dogs because he wanted your full, undivided attention always, while Boz loves to play with other dogs. I love them equally, but differently.

The worst is when people would say, "Wow you seemed to move on fast by getting a new puppy." This statement upset me: you never move on fully from a death. There are still times where I have my "Baci moments." Boz will never replace Baci...they are both unique in their own ways. Next time someone loses a pet, be mindful of the situation: treat it the same as if a family member has passed, because we dog owners think of our dogs as family.