Being in a relationship is a very time-consuming thing but in a good way. You always have something to do and someone to talk to. You feel loved and you feel confident in yourself. You wake up happy every morning because you know someone cares about you and you go to sleep happy because you get to wake up and talk to and see them again. Everything about life seems good and you feel like nothing could possibly go wrong until it does.
You guys fight and argue. Tears are shed, words are said and one or both of you get hurt. Your mind is racing and you are thinking of every bad memory that has ever happened between you two. The final words that are said are "I need time", you walk out of the car and you try your hardest to not look back. The next few days are the hardest you will ever endure. You are trying to figure out what went wrong and when. You have to decide what you are going to do with your relationship.
I chose to end mine.
Going back to school, especially college, after a breakup seemed interesting. I haven't been single in over three years and didn't know what I was doing. After talking with my friends, I decided I would try to put myself out there and see what would happen. It is definitely an experience.
You deal with a lot of boys that don't actually care about you. They see someone who just got out of a relationship and is looking for a rebound or someone just to have sex with. Incorrect. You are just looking for someone to talk to and to get to know, not just someone to jump into bed with.
You deal with a lot of drama. You can't talk to one person because another person was talking to them or they dated someone else that you are close with. There are so many other things to take into consideration when you are single. The drama makes you want to stay single for a while.
I know personally I feel very self-conscious. You don't have that person to tell you that you look beautiful every day. I've noticed I have been wearing makeup more and trying to put together nice outfits when I would normally wear leggings and a sweatshirt.
You deal with the awkwardness of meeting new people. Being in a long-term relationship feels like you are dating your best friend, so you can act like a complete idiot when you go on dates and hang out. When it comes to new people, you don't know what they are like and you don't want to come off as too weird on the first date.
When you finally meet someone your friends tease you about it, which isn't always a bad thing. Your friends want to know every little detail of every moment you spend with this new person and, of course, you need their approval.
Most importantly, you are afraid of getting hurt again. Regardless of how the last relationship ended it still hurts. You are afraid of getting too attached or coming off too clingy. You second guess everything you say or do. You don't want to rush into anything and you try not to let your feelings get the best of you.
Overall, being single is a lot harder than the movies and television shows make it seem. The one thing I have learned from this is that you need to be happy with yourself before relying on someone else to make you happy. You are in charge of your own life and shouldn't be dependent on someone else. If something is meant to happen it will. Don't force anything and only put yourself out there when you are ready.
