Imagine you are in the sixth grade, you have just moved from a place you have grown up in for the last eight years. You are the new kid at school and you are quite optimistic about the school year because you get to try new things. The year goes by, you are failing all of your classes the bullying is getting on your nerves but you take it as a joke. Then you are in science class one day and at the end the one guy you have a crush on asks you a question. He asks you out, and you look over at your classmates and they are laughing at you. You are confused and you say yes anyway but he blurts out "It was a dare. It was a joke, I would never date you." and everything in your life goes downhill from there.

Yes folks, that is correct, I was asked out as a complete joke in the sixth grade. Let me tell you it has happened more times than it should have. If you do not know what it feels like, it is pretty much someone taking your heart and shoving it in a blender then putting it in a freezer. It feels like someone took some glass and shoved it down your throat. It feels like you would rather hide in a cave for the rest of your life surrounded by all the thoughts in your head and they are beating the absolute crap out of you in this cave. So if you thought this was going to be a funny story you should probably keep reading because it is not.

I honestly thought I had made friends during my time in Ohio and I made only two friends who do not really keep in touch with. We are friends on Facebook and Instagram but we do not talk. I was so glad we moved away from that awful town and this is one of many reasons why I do not like Ohio because it brings me bad memories. Even though this was the first time it had happened, it did unfortunately happen multiple other times. If you did not know I was already having a hard time fitting in at school because I was the new girl. I was failing my classes already because I had come to the new school in the middle of the year, the only class I remember passing was English.

I am no 20 year old, a junior in college and I go to counseling while I am in school. Most of my life I have had to deal with my own problems. I had nobody to help me through it, I was alone in everything and had to carry everything myself. So you can only imagine how hard it was for me to get through what I have been through. I have had to lift myself up and most of the time I cannot do that because I have so many issues with myself. These issues are a lot more than just "Just smile, stop being so sad!" or "Just love yourself!" because if it was that easy I would not be where I am today. I would not have these deep, emotionally scarring thoughts, feelings and actions that I have today. I get a lot of comments saying "Wow your life is so sad!" well yes, but you do not understand the things I have been through that have made my life sad and have messed up my brain chemistry.

Making jokes is okay as long as they do not offend anybody or make anybody feel bad about themselves. If you think your joke about someone's weight or their appearance or possibly someone they show interest in, DO NOT DO IT. If you think offending someone is a funny joke then you have a huge storm coming. People who make jokes about the appearance of someone else have their own issues and need to get those sorted out because I cannot imagine having that kind of mindset to think you have to comment negatively on someone else's appearance. It does not take much to be kind to someone.