Many people, especially men, feel that they have the right to outwardly comment on a woman’s appearance as they walk down the street. They believe it is just a compliment and we should take it as such. But that is not how some women feel—at least not me.
In essence, I think it is very disrespectful to be called out when I am just walking down the street. Do not call after me as if I am some animal for you to admire. I am not on display at the zoo so you can ogle me and comment on my appearance. If you want to tell me that I am pretty, then come up to me and introduce yourself so I do not feel like a caged animal that you feel you have the right to judge. I cannot comment back, either. I have to say thank you or else the “nice” comments turn into aggressive and nasty name-calling. If I do not say thank you, I am a bitch/slut/whore, among other things.
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On top of that, it makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe, especially when the guy commenting is in a group, which you usually are. It makes me feel that you are looking at me as a piece of meat, and if I respond the wrong way, you will treat me as such. Rape, especially gang rape, is a very common practice in this country, even if it is not as common as in other countries. Catcalling makes me feel like I could get molested or potentially raped.
Many people also feel that it is a matter of attractiveness that is the problem at hand, meaning that I would feel more comfortable if someone I found attractive catcalled me. That is extremely shallow and would be hypocritical if it was true. It makes me feel unsafe if anyone screams out, “Hey, you are so beautiful.” He could be Channing Tatum, and I would still feel disrespected. Attractive or not, he has the ability to come up to me, introduce himself and tell me his feelings.
Not all women share these feelings. Two women in my life have told me they actually enjoy catcalling. One of these women told me they loved the attention, and since she knew she was pretty, she had no problem with it. The other woman said that in her country, Romania, every man commented on how she looked, and she never had any problem with it because it was her culture. When she came to this country, she actually felt that she was unattractive because catcalling was not as commonplace here. I definitely understand the perspective that, as people, we do like to feel admired.
The flip side, though, is that as women’s equality becomes more important, we want to be admired for things other than beauty. Beauty is only one factor; there are many other important factors to consider in a woman. In that sense, catcalling is disrespectful. If you feel the need to comment on my beauty, get to know me so you can, at least, comment on the rest. I am not and will never be just a pretty picture. I am dynamic.
