It is estimated in a study by Kessler that about half of Americans will fit the criteria to be diagnosed with a mental illness in their lifetime. Despite this, there is very little conversation over mental illnesses and how they work and affect the people who have one, and there are things people need to know.
Depression isn’t a cookie cutter label.
One of the biggest issues with mental illnesses is the idea that everyone who suffers from one is the same. Depression doesn’t equal black clothes, talks that only deal with death, and suicide attempts. Anxiety isn’t in the form of a kid with glasses and few friends who has a stutter when talking. Self harm isn’t always long sleeve shirts in summer and cuts on wrists. Depression can be the hardworking student who is constantly going above and beyond to make themselves feel worth something. Anxiety can be the girl with a huge group of friends but can’t order for herself at Subway. Self harm can be burn marks on their hips but a smile on their lips. There is no certain way mental illnesses look.
The DSM-V, the manual used for diagnosing mental illnesses, has a list of different attributes someone can have to be depressed. They do not have to reach every single one to be diagnosed. Some items on the list are even ambiguous on purpose to encompass more people. Depression can cause someone to sleep more often than they normally would, or it could have the adverse affect and cause someone to never sleep. The person could not have their sleeping patterns affected at all and still have depression. This same idea occurs throughout the DSM-V with multiple different illnesses. The manual is set up this way because of the multiple ways mental illnesses can affect and appear. Everyone is different, and it’s ridiculous to assume that everyone is affected by mental illnesses the same way.
Mental Illnesses can be addicting.
Heart racing blood pumping, barely able to breath anxiety attacks followed by the weight of the world being lifted off your shoulders for some people becomes apart of their normal life. When they start taking medication or counseling and getting better, losing these intense and abrupt changes in emotions and the rush of chemicals can feel uncomfortable. Even though they do not enjoy these feelings, it is what they are familiar with. Especially in the case of anxiety, familiarity is craved. Often, the people with a mental illness do not understand why they feel this way and it can be extremely frustrating for them. This isn’t how it is for everyone. Some people never experience this, but those who do just need support during this challenging time.
It takes time.
Mental illnesses are illnesses. They are not a mindset someone fixes by cheering up. They take time to get better. People with a broken leg aren’t expected to start walking the next day. They aren’t expected to start walking the next week. Mental illnesses take time just like physical ones. Be patient if you know someone with a mental illness. Understand that while you can’t see what is happening or the progress they are making, that they are working towards getting better.
We need support.
We live in a society where it’s not okay, to not be okay. People don’t feel comfortable talking about the fact that they suffer from depression. They feel like they will probably be judged if they mention that they have anxiety. Not being able to talk about it can cause people to feel isolated and alone. Some illnesses only further this by convincing people they are alone, and people don’t care. You need to let these people know you are there for them. Even if you don’t always know what to say or do, telling them you care can make a world of difference. Like I said before, it takes time for people to get better, and they will continuously need someone there to tell them they care.
