Last time I wrote an article like this, it was about finding a mozzarella stick.
Now, I am back, to evaluate the ultimate "get-together" food - pizza. It's a social food where people actually have to share pieces with (unless you are dedicated to eating a whole pie to yourself then I give you all the respect in the world).
There is pizza for every course of the day and a pizza shop every three minutes away. But at the end of the day, whether it is from a five-star Italian restaurant, local pizza shop, concession stand, food-chain, or homemade, the big question is: "Am I eating a quality pizza?" Let's put it to the test.
1. The Crust
Yup. You probably expected this to be the first on the list because it is absolutely important for the crust to be right. There is the whole controversy between thick and thin crust pizza (and don't forget deep-dish for all my Chicagoans), but what it ultimately comes down to is the crispy-ness of the dough on the outside, and the softness of the dough inside.
Too soft? Your pizza is mushy and has ZERO hold when eating it. It never hurts to have some extra support in your life, you know? Some questions to ask yourself are: Is the crust stuffed? Is the crust so thick it feels like you're eating bread? Is it so thin and hard that it hurts to chew? Is the bottom too burnt? Worst nightmare: Is it actually cauliflower? All things to consider.
2. The Sauce
The sauce can't be overbearing. Is it evenly distributed? Is it crossing the borders of the crust? If there is too much sauce, you will be having one messy time. If there is not enough sauce, your pizza will be too dry. If it is under-seasoned, then you are just eating a can of bland tomatoes.
The secret recipe for many pizzas is in the sauce. Never underestimate the power of the sauce. After all, it is the glue that holds your pizza and its toppings together.
3. The Cheese
Speaking of toppings, the cheese is a fundamental part of your pizza. Is your cheese-less pizza really a pizza? Make sure you aren't ignoring the cheese pull. The cheese has got to be perfectly melted, not semi-melted, to the point where your cheese has flattened up against the dough and sucked out all the moisture.
Look for a goo-ey consistency, but enough where grabbing one slice won't pull off the cheese from the rest of the pizza. It can't be too slippery so your toppings slide off and you are left with a bare-naked slice of wet dough.
4. Extra-Toppings
Whether you are a meat-lover, veggie eater, a Hawaiian pizza advocate, or just an extra cheese pizza customer, you want to make sure 1) your toppings are evenly distributed so you get a little bit of everything with each bite, 2) have just enough toppings on top where nothing falls off the slice, 3) have the right combination of flavors so nothing is too out of the ordinary.
Are the olives too salty? Is the pepperoni too thick? Are the veggies not cut up enough? If your pizza looks like someone just carelessly threw food at it, you might have to re-consider finding a new pizza joint because it should be made with a lot of TLC.
5. Delivery
No one likes a pizza with a soggy bottom. At that point, it's not even worth eating. If the box isn't nice to open, the pizza isn't cut all the way through, or the plate is too small for your personal pie/slice, the experience is ruined before you put the pizza in your mouth.
Delivery. Is. Everything. Make sure to leave a tip at the end for the delivery guy/gal bringing you slices of heaven.
