You see your friend's ex's name pop up on your phone and you already start to freak out about what he wants. Unfortunately, this has happened to me more times than it ever should have happened (THIS SHOULD NEVER HAPPEN BY THE WAY). Let me make it clear that no matter what happened in the relationship or who broke up with who, I don't EVER want my friend's ex messaging me and you shouldn't either.
I know some will ask 'what if he wanted to just talk to about your friend' or 'what if he wanted advice on how to get your friend back'? Well, my response to that would be that he needs to talk to his own friends about it and I won't give him advice on how to get my friend back because obviously, the relationship ended for a reason. In my experience, this has never been the case though.
For those who are experiencing this right now, take a deep breathe because everything is going to be okay. Be prepared to tell your friend because you need to NO MATTER WHAT and be prepared for a long conversation with your friend as well. Be sure to respect your friend's wishes because, at the end of the day, it is HER EX, not yours.
The first step is to automatically send your friend a screenshot of the message and ask her if she wants you to respond. If she tells you to respond, ask her what she wants you to say back and send her the screenshot as soon as you send the message. Do this for the entire conversation for two different, but equally important reasons.
The first reason is that you have your friend's best interest at heart and she deserves to know that her ex is messaging you. She needs to know because what if she was considering going back to him? What if she is considering giving him another chance and here he is messaging you?
The second reason is that you don't want your friend to think that you're hiding anything from her. You would never do that to any of your friends and to not tell her would be hiding something from her. So definitely send her all of the screenshots so she will know that you're being completely honest with her.
Honestly, you know would never do that to your friend so stop replying to his messages (if your friend told you that you could respond to him in the first place) and just leave him on read to show him that you don't want to have the conversation. The entire conversation will consist of you trying to be polite but in a way that shows that you're not interested in the conversation. When you stop replying, that sure as heck does not give him the right to like or comment on your photos or ask for your Snapchat.
You shouldn't care what his intentions are or were, he shouldn't be liking or commenting on your pictures. You should never give him your Snapchat no matter what he says to try to persuade you to do so. You should unfriend, unfollow, and block him on every form of social media because it isn't fair to you or your friend for him to be doing those things.
In this whole situation, I want your friend and all the other girls that are experiencing their ex messaging their friends, to realize how loved they are. You all are wonderful human beings who deserve the world, and honestly, this guy isn't the type of person who you deserve to be with.
To the guys who message their ex's friend, the fact that you had the nerve to message them makes me sick since you think that they would do that to their friends. I can't even wrap my head around why you think it would be a good idea to message your ex's friends in the first place. The very fact that you are the type of person to message your ex's friend, makes me believe that your ex deserves better.
To all the other girls out there that are experiencing this, have experience, or will experience this, please remember that there is nothing wrong with you because your friend's ex messaged you. You aren't a terrible person or a bad friend because he messaged you. You are actually a great friend because you told her about the messages as soon as they began.
I will always tell my friends if their ex appears in my messages because I wouldn't be able to function if I didn't. I strive to be a great friend that is loyal, caring, and most of all that's respectful of Girl Code.
