Floridians: It would be nice if we could have some rain.
Florida: Rain?
Floridians: Yeah but just a littl-
Florida:

Dear Florida,

You are hot.

Not like damnnn girl you're hot, like it's so hot outside that you could cook an egg.

Heck, our bodies are practically halfway to poached every time we step foot into a car that's been in the sun for a couple hours.

Have you ever felt air that's too hot to breathe? Yep, that's us in our cars.

Yes, I know. Every winter we ask for warm weather but you gave us sweltering.

Okay so it's hot, right?

Whatever.

We keep the air conditioning running longer, we dress cooler and we don't go outside for prolonged periods.

We can handle that.

But then you throw the rain at us.

Every single day you take a giant piss on the entire state. Multiple times!

Yet the tourists remain.

It's sunny, then it's pouring, then there's a rainbow, then it rains again. Make up your mind.

Leaving the house? Don't forget your umbrella.

Oh, the news says it's not suppose to rain today? Think again.

Despite the weather, the tourists are in full swarm.

Forget the beach, natives are not welcome. Forget Disney world, forget the aquarium: their pasty white Northern bodies have taken over.

Isn't it time for winter yet?

Sincerely,

Floridians