I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) recently. Between doing research and trying to figure out exactly what this diagnosis is, I've learned a lot. BPD is not uncommon. And it's real. Everything that has confused me, everything that I couldn't handle, there's a reason for it, an explanation for the things I used to think were normal and "just me." But the truth is, these feelings aren't normal. Not everyone has these thoughts. I'm not crazy. And this diagnosis has opened my eyes, and I feel the need to explain what BPD is and what the warning signs are so I can help open a few other eyes.
To be diagnosed, a doctor has to verify that you exhibit five of the nine symptoms of BPD, according to the National Institute of Mental Health.
1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
2. A pattern of intense and unstable relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, often swinging from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation).
3. Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self.
4. Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating.
5. Recurring suicidal behaviors or threats or self-harming behavior, such as cutting.
6. Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days.
7. Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger.
8. Having stress-related paranoid thoughts.
9. Having severe dissociative symptoms, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself from outside the body, losing touch with reality, or chronic feelings of emptiness.
Most people diagnosed go to the doctor for suspected depression and/or anxiety, but if you experience a significant number of symptoms, please contact your doctor. Mental health is nothing to self-diagnose or you will end up most likely misdiagnosing. It is also not something to keep quiet about. If you know someone experiencing this, please reach out to them.
Please remember that your mental status doesn't define you, it explains you!! There's nothing to be ashamed of. It doesn't have to be taboo. Start a conversation about it. Talk to someone you can trust, or if you don't have anyone you can trust, try reaching out to a therapist. The only treatment is therapy. There are many different kinds of therapy, but talking is the only way to separate everything in your mind. Other things that help are stable schedules, exercise, realistic goals, find a safe space, and a trusted confidant. And more than anything BE PATIENT! This takes years to make significant progress, and it can never be fully cured.
One in ten people with BPD commit suicide and many more have suicidal thoughts or actions. Please be aware of the signs of suicide and seek help, if not for borderline personality disorder, than for the suicide because it does nothing but make the dark emptiness inside of you grow. And if you or someone you know is suicidal, please get help. The National Suicide Prevention Hotline is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The phone number is 1-800-273-8255.
