Some people fall in love and lose the love two months of truly being with each other, but this wasn't the case with me.
We had been dating for one year, five months and 7 days when I got mad and decided I didn't want to be with him anymore, but little did I know I would regret it the next day.
I tended to be stubborn and never really let his opinion be heard unless I wanted to hear it (usually because it would start an argument). So, one day in early October I decided to cut things off, and boy did it tear me apart. I can't describe the regret and pain I felt doing that and every day after. It was like I was bleeding out but still had enough blood to live, like I was drowning but had enough air to breathe, like I was falling from the sky but never hitting ground. I regret the day did it most because I had a future planned, my life, my happiness and then I just ended it all. I'm not writing this for pity or for judgment but to inform couples of the regret I felt because if you and your significant other don't try to fix things TOGETHER then it's only a one-way relationship and, in my case, we didn't even have the chance to try because I ruined that chance.
If you feel mad in the moment of an argument don't be drastic, it can change everything. Because I haven't been as happy as I was since we broke up. I truly believe that we were meant to be together forever, but of course me being a hot head I ruined it.
To my ex. I regret doing it. I regret messing up our lives. I regret being mad. I'm sorry for our departure. I'm sorry for not moving on. I'm sorry for being difficult. I'm glad you're doing good. I'm gad you are living your life. I'm glad you're happy. I just want you and everyone else to know that I'm sorry for being me.
But, what I'm not sorry for is finding my happiness again. Would I date you again? of course! In a heartbeat. But will I get that chance? Probably not, so I've chosen happy. so. to anyone struggling in their relationship: try to fix things together, always be honest and be yourself. Never feel ashamed for caring, and never make yourself regret any choice you make.
