With October being Domestic Violence Awareness Month, it is important now more than ever to talk about what makes a healthy relationship. The truth is, domestic abuse is much more common than one would like to believe. It is not a symptom of the lower class or lesser educated. It is an affliction that does not care about religion, race, or even sexuality.
So how do we combat this? By defining what makes a healthy relationship.
So - let's start with what a healthy relationship is not. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, some warning signs of an unhealthy relationship include:
- Telling the victim that they can never do anything right
- Showing jealousy of the victim’s family and friends and time spent away
- Keeping or discouraging the victim from seeing friends or family members
- Embarrassing or shaming the victim with put-downs
- Controlling who the victim sees, where they go, or what they do
- Dictating how the victim dresses, wears their hair, etc.
- Stalking the victim or monitoring their victim’s every move (in person or also via the internet and/or other devices such as GPS tracking or the victim’s phone)
- Preventing the victim from making their own decision
- Forcing sex with others
- Refusing to use protection when having sex or sabotaging birth control
- Pressuring or forcing the victim to use drugs or alcohol
- Preventing the victim from working or attending school, harassing the victim at either, keeping their victim up all night so they perform badly at their job or in school
- Destroying the victim’s property
It is not always easy to see these signs during the early stages of a relationships. More often than not, these habits and behaviors start small and unnoticeable - looking over your shoulder when you go on Facebook or calling you three times when you're out with friends to 'check in'.
No one should ever feel like they are not enough in a relationship. A healthy relationship involves mutual respect and unconditional love. It involves open and honest communication. It allows for the blossoming of outside friendships and hobbies and interests.
In a relationship, one should be allowed to be their own person. A partner should be add more positive value into your life than they take out.
If you are unsure about the relationship you're in is healthy or not, I encourage you to check out the resources at http://www.loveisrespect.org/. If you feel as though you or someone you care about is in danger, please do not hesitate to call the domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) now.
