On September 22nd, in the most anti-climactic way possible, I tore all the ligaments in my left ankle from jumping off a couple stairs on my front porch. I walked inside and promptly removed my white converse shoe to see that the bone on the left side of my ankle was about the size of an apple. My roommate Brendan was kind enough to drive me to an urgent care to get my leg examined while I sat in the back of his car still not entirely sure of what just happened.
I received an X Ray when I arrived at the urgent care and was told that I simply sprained my ankle, and that I would be back on my feet in five to seven days. So, taking that information to heart, I returned home, drank a few beers and practiced with my band on a stool in the basement of my new home on Winter St. Nine days later, my foot was still incredibly swollen and I still could not walk on it. I went back home to West Chester, PA, and my parents and sister drove me to the hospital in Paoli.
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“You're going to need an MRI,” I was told.
“Great," I thought to myself. “I guess I won't be going to class this week!"
I was wheeled into a room, was given an ever-so-stylish set of blue scrubs to wear, and was told that I would be receiving my MRI shortly. A few minutes later, the nurse asked if I wanted to listen to some music while i was being examined. I was getting dressed and I looked at a list of about 20 artists, and thought that Bon Jovi would simply not due, so, I chose to listen to one of my favorite groups, Simon & Garfunkel. I was brought to the room with the MRI machine, pardon me if that isn't what you call it, and laid out on the bed. “Put your headphones on dear” said the nurse, and in an incredibly cinematic fashion, the opening lines to “The Sound Of Silence” began playing as the bed drew closer to what looked like a goddamn spacecraft.
“This test will be 5 minutes,” the doctor repeatedly said after a series of bad jokes. “This test will be 5 minutes”.
An hour and a half later, I was given an air cast for my ankle and went home. A day later, I received a call from my doctor with the news that the ligaments in my leg had completely retracted and that I was going to need surgery. “Really?!” I thought to myself, “sure my feet are black and blue, but that's fine, right?”. I was bummed out, and for the most part, rightfully so. I'm the frontman of rock and roll band called RFA that likes to move around a lot and smoke and drink on stage, and hearing the news was quite devastating given the fact that we had some pretty important shows coming up. I also just started hanging out with a girl I really liked, and you simply can't be Prince Charming if you can't even walk down the stairs on your own in your own house. Another reason for my anger at the situation was that I had tickets to see one of my favorite new bands, Whitney, on Columbus Day in Brooklyn, a show I could definitely not attend if I had to hobble around New York all day on crutches and ride the megabus to get there. I guess the worst part was that when I heard the news it finally registered that this could be something serious. I have a brand new house with a bunch of really great friends, and this was all in jeopardy given that fact that the ground and stairs are so uneven and that without the use of my left ankle I could lose my independence.
I was sad, angry and confused that day when my sister drove me back to my house at school to pack up some clothes and head back to the suburbs. Just as things were sinking in, I slipped in the shower and my ribs landed directly on the tub. I was in immense pain and I could not breathe. I was hurt, tearing up and angry. I threw my crutches down the stairs and cussed just as much as any Tarantino film. In that moment, I had a sudden realization. I realized just as I was hitting rock bottom that I am an incredibly fortunate person. Sure, I need surgery and maybe a term off from school, but I'll be able to walk again. Many people can't say the same thing. You don't understand how important your legs are until you cannot use them, and fortunately I will be able to use mine again. I realized that I have an incredibly caring and loving family that is here to support me at every step.
Most people can't say the same thing. Just look around at some of your fellow classmates, some might not have a home to go home to, or simply walk a few blocks past Spring Garden Street and look around at some of these poor local people who have nothing left to lose. I realized the power of true friendship, and that there are certainly different levels of friendship. Reliable friends who are there for you and care for you are worth dying for, and friends who are fun to hang out with but don't really care that much about you are simply worth that temporary enjoyment. Good friends are invaluable and should be treated as such. My final realization was the importance of entertainment. Sports, music, literature, movies… All these things we take for granted in this modern age when we are constantly bombarded with information and advertisement, but when you have to nothing to look forward to, simply listening to a good song, watching the football game or reading a book can be take you a way for a while.
I consider this escapism as something spiritual, something that is necessary and can refresh your outlook on the current situation and help you deal with the matter at hand. Positive thinking is one of the biggest factors to recovery, especially when you’re down or are ill. Entertainment, to a degree, is also invaluable. And now, as i sit here in the hospital downing several mini cans of ginger ale and eating saltines, I challenge you, whoever is reading this (thanks mom), to look at the positive things you have in your life, and challenge yourself to appreciate what you've been given. Life can be hard sometimes, but it is something that is truly beautiful. Thank you for reading this and share this with whomever you think this would apply to.
Sincerely,
Dan
