My best friend is one of the most wonderful people I know. There is nothing we haven't faced together. Heartbreak, losing loved ones, success, failure, cant-find-the-light sadness, to top-of-the-world happiness, I'd thought we'd run the gamut. Until one average day, that turned not so average, when she called and told me she was pregnant.
The immediate response was shock. She wasn't ready for this, I wasn't ready for this, we weren't ready for this. But before any selfish feelings of my own could set it, I reminded myself that this wasn't about me at all. Our relationship had always been give and take, at times in our life I had been so low I couldn't even recognize myself , and during those days or weeks, she carried me. This time, it was her turn to be carried.
The next nine months were full of up's and downs, nausea, swollen feet, cravings, doctors appointments, heartburn, naps, naps, and more naps. I was lucky enough to live with her through her pregnancy, and I loved watching as her belly grew and I felt her son kick for the first time. I loved going to pre-natal check-ups and crying when I heard his tiny heart beat for the first time. I loved helping pick out the perfect color for the nursery, and returning curtains four times until we found the perfect ones. I loved being part of all the little moments that prepared her for the big moment. I wouldn't trade those times for the world.
Of course, I knew I would love her baby, but nothing prepared me for the moment when I got the text that he had been born, and burst into tears in public. Or when I saw him for the first time, tinier than I ever could have expected, being held by his absolutely exhausted, nervous, beautiful mother.
Since then, the extreme affection I have for him grows every time I'm with him. As I learn new things about his little personality, and watch from the back as each milestone passes, and he grows far faster than anyone of us would like. I will take crawling around on the floor with him over going out any day of the week. I love him because he is the very best part of my very best friend. He is perfect.
Watching her go through motherhood for the first time is awe-inspiring. I mean she is literally responsible for keeping a little person alive! It is an impossible job, centering around the most impossible love that exists. Sometimes she stumbles, sometimes she feels lost and stressed, and in those moments I am happy to remind her that she is superwoman, whether she feels that way or not. I know the hard lesson's she's learned in the last year and a half will be invaluable when I am pregnant with my first child, and I can't wait to share those moments with her, too.
To my person,
No matter how you navigate this motherhood thing, no matter what you decide to do or not do, no matter what you feed him, or what diapers you use, or what you let him watch, no matter if you complain every single day or don't complain at all, I have never been more proud of you than I am now. I learn from you every day. No matter the obstacle, the silly, kind, patient, loving, wonderful person you have always been will lead you through it, and I will always be here to support you, and take down any mommy shamers that dare ridicule your choices.
I want you to know that I am forever thankful that somehow, despite all you have been going through, you have continued to be the best friend I could ever ask for.
Thank you for sending me silly pictures of him, they melt my heart and make my day. Thank you for trusting me to babysit him. Thank you for letting me be an auntie to your beautiful baby boy, it's my favorite job title, I look forward to watching him grow and learn, and cheering for him through every stage of his wonderful life.
As our families grow and change and become even more beautiful, I hope you always remember that you were my family first. You are my sister, and that will always be.
Multiple people in the same situation have asked me about the impact that her having a baby has had on our friendship, and more importantly, how theirs with their BFF would change. The details vary from friendship to friendship but the answer is the same. Your friendship will change. It has to. Maybe you will loose your drinking buddy to diaper changes, or your wing-girl to bottle feedings, and maybe you'll talk about that and not much else for a while. But you have to remember that no matter how different things may feel for a little while, those changes are nothing compared to the world turner she is experiencing right now. Be patient, and supportive. That's your only job.
