One of the worst parts about having feelings for someone is that either their feelings are not reciprocated, or something happens, but it ends terribly.
The worst is the third option, which is where he likes two people and he chooses her over you. It hurts because there was a possibility of something happening between you.
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To all of the girls that this has happened to, you're not alone, and you never will be. Either way, many of us would rather have the chance of something happening and knowing the ending, rather than wonder what could've been.
You'll start to feel angry.
Anger at him and her.
Anger at him because he broke your heart and made you feel less simply by choosing someone else over you. You're angry at yourself for allowing yourself to be vulnerable to the what could've been and get caught up in happy moments.
You're angry at her, because her little self is better than you.
There is so much anger when someone chooses someone else over you because it is unclear who is truly at fault for your anger. Should you be angry at yourself because you were naive enough not to consider the worse of the options? You feel mad at him because he chose someone else and it hurts, but he can't help that he seems more towards someone else. You have this anger towards the other girl too because she is the reason why the relationship was rocky and complicated. If she weren't there, things would be simpler.
It isn't her fault necessarily, but she is just in the path of blows.
You feel like something is wrong with you.
This is downright, the worst feeling someone could feel. To also feel like something is wrong or unloveable about you because I am here to tell you, every little nook and cranny whether there is anxiety, impulsion, stomach rolls, stretch marks, scars, etc., deserves to be loved. One of my favorite poems by Eric Hanson has a line in it, and it goes like this:
" ..and if you think my winter is too cold
you don't deserve my spring."
These lines are worded perfectly. Everyone deserves someone that will love them for all that they are. I know I am not perfect—I'm far from it. The other girl, very far from it too. I know I will find someone who doesn't mind me rambling on any subject from dogs to problems I have with certain plots of T.V. shows, or judge me too hard for how easily I cry over any videos with dogs or goats in it. There is someone out there for me and there is someone out there for you.
You'll feel pity
I feel pity for the other girl. I feel pity for her because she didn't have a big enough man to not go out and like another girl. I hate that it was me and it was purely the wrong place at the wrong time from the beginning, but I still feel pity for her.
I also wish she would get her act together and either be the person he loves or be the person he despises. The person he loves is a self-functioning young woman, fun, and endearingly sweet young woman. The one he despises is the young woman with a lack of common sense and direction, to the point of making terrible decisions and needs someone to hold her hand and tell her that it will all be okay, instead of owning up to her actions. I feel pity for myself. If I could go back in time and slap myself and say "don't get caught up in this mess," I would. I can't and I can only learn. I hope they both learn as well.
At the end of the day, what is supposed to happen will happen. If someone is supposed to be with you or with another person, it will eventually work out to either the way you want or the way you dread.
Hug your best friends for sticking with you by your side, eat a tub of ice cream, drink some detox tea and learn from every bad thing another person can do to you.
At the end of the day, just always know one thing—you are so much better than the person you cry over. When a stupid boy chooses another girl over you, it sucks. There will be many nights of jealousy and anger and possibly crying, but there will be many days of empowering yourself to be someone so much better.
You can get over this hurdle, much better and faster than when that stupid boy wakes up and realizes what he lost, but now what he can never have.
