When we're about to experience change in our lives, mixed emotions consume us. One day we're so excited, and the next day we're sobbing. It's never a win-win situation.
The reality of having to leave in less than two months is setting in. We're dreading the day of graduation, but we also can't wait for it. Does that make sense? Probably not.
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Last semester of senior year can be exciting, wild, and turn us into savages. But, it's also the one semester that leaves us feeling confused, bipolar, and drained.
The reality of what happens to us as last semester seniors:
We stop caring
Between drama, being broke, or not studying for a test, we just simply don't care. Failed a test? It's fine. Have three friends? Awesome. Someone doesn't like us? OK. Someone makes a sad attempt to make fun of us? Carry on.
We keep it real
In the beginning, we try to impress people. We want people to like us, and we want to make as many friends as possible. Towards the end, we couldn't be happier with the few who are actually still our friends. At this point in our lives, being around the people who love us and have our best interest at heart is good enough. All of the other bullshit is irrelevant.
It's not that we were ever fake, but we went out of our way to be overly nice. Now, being cordial is more than enough. If we haven't been friends in four years, we're not going to start now. If we don't like someone, we don't want to hang out with them, so we don't.
In the past, it was important to have a filter of fear we'd lose a friend or people would just think we were assholes. Now, the filter is long gone. If we feel a certain way, it's obvious.
We "forget" to go to class
Since most of us only take two or three classes in our final semester, we forget that we're technically still students. Even being on campus feels weird and out of the ordinary. Going to class is suddenly beneath us and looked upon as a joke.
We tell ourselves it's last semester senior year and Understanding Music 101 will not be any help to our future careers in two months. We still do our assignments, but class has become optional when there's not an attendance policy. It's fiiine.
We have mental breakdowns
Almost every day, we're overthinking about the future. Some days we're confident that everything will work out the way it's meant to. Other days we're balling because we don't think anyone will hire us. We're terrified to transform from a fake adult to a real adult. Has college even prepared us for the real stuff? Eh, maybe.
It becomes hard to imagine a life without having our best friend's bedroom right next to ours. We realize we can't sleep in until 11 A.M., go to our jobs in our slippers, black out on a Wednesday, or take a personal day when we feel like it.
Our minds wander to our parents becoming our roommates once again and we start to cry harder. We start pouring ourselves a mixed drink during the weeknights just to cope. Planning for graduation starts to feel more like planning for a funeral. So dramatic, but am I right?
We submit applications everywhere
Everyone from our families to our friends ask the questions that make us ten times more stressed than we already were.
"What do you want to do after graduation? Are you moving back home or to a big city? Are you getting your Masters now? Do you have a job?" We literally don't know.
We upload our resumes and cover letters to any job opening we come across just to feel some comfort or accomplishment. Nothing to do with our major or what we actually want to do with our lives? *hits submit anyways*
We crave a change
Maybe it's from living in a small college town for the past four years, where activities and restaurant choices are limited, but boredom takes over. We've grown out of doing the same thing we were doing four years ago.
We're over the obsessive drinking and partying. Our bodies can't handle the exhausting hangovers anymore. Instead of going out to the bar, we'd rather watch Netflix in bed and order a pizza.
We're ready to work. We're ready to make money. We get excited at the thought of our bank accounts having any balance higher than zero. We've seen the zero for too long.
However, the fear of the unknown, rejection, and failure holds us back from the excitement and thrill. We're so comfortable with where we've been. We're torn.
We want a job with a steady income, but we're not entirely ready to give up the college lifestyle and only looking like a real person on the weekends. Even though we're ready to leave, we also want to stay forever.
Seniors, cherish every moment, even the hard ones, because it's about to be over in the blink of an eye. Just remember when it's over, we will survive (I think). Good luck!
