Hey, Mom!

Do you remember how simple it was when I was younger? Oh, the laughter that we all shared. Do you remember the memories we all made? Oh, the smiles that we each had. Do you remember the little things that mattered to everyone? Oh, the small joys that we loved.

Hey, Dad!

Do you remember the movies we all watched snuggled up in the living room? Oh, the family time that we all cherished. Do you remember the hill we used to sled on? Oh, the dog that we chased. Do you remember the mud pit we made? Oh, the mess we all enjoyed!

What happened to those days?

We were just one family. What about the memories that we made when I was younger? It was never meant to be like this. We were meant to stick together. Yet, look at what this has become.

The Memories that we shared...

Do you remember what we did during the winter time? The three boys, both of you, and I would take sleds up the hill. Our rottweiler, Sasha, would come with us. She loved sledding down the hill more than all of us combined. One of the boys would start sledding. She would chase after them, knock them off in mid-sled, and hop on the sled. I don't know why, but she was more of a child than we were.

Also, do you remember what we did when it got warmer? We worked on building a mud pit. We didn't want to help build it because we did not know what your plans were for it. We wanted to go play with the other kids. We complained, but we did not get our way. After we helped with the mud pit, we were excited to see what it was becoming.

Do you remember the slip-and-slide that we had? We positioned it so that when you slid on the slip-and-slide, you will slide into the mud pit. Before anyone did that, you both made sure that the mud pit was muddy and wet. Then, you sprayed the slip-and-slide and connected the hose to it. It was fair game for all six of us.

Do you remember how I was the first one to use the slip-and-slide? I was the oldest child, and I was the only girl. I excited ran towards it and began to slide...

BUT....

Do you remember how Sasha chased after me? She jumped and slid down the slip-and-slide into the mud right after me. I was laughing so much, and she was jumping around like she was ready for me.

Do you remember when the boys were learning how to ride on the skateboards? Each of the boys would come home bruised, scratched, and bleeding. Yet, they were excited to tell us that they mastered a new skill.

Now, look at us.

We are no longer one family. We are no longer creating memories together. The boy are never home. They are always out of the house making memories with their friends, friends families. The two of you are no longer together. Sometimes, you say hateful things about one another.

Were the memories we had just hiding your secrets and fights? Was it all just a dream? As we grew, we heard the screaming and hateful accusations. Now that we are all teens, it got worse. None of us wanted to be around either of you during this time. It just made us feel worse. I perfected the skill to hide my moods due to the two of you.

All of my siblings look up to me to be there for them. I am the one who they trust. I am the one who encourages them. I am the one who has to face this adult life on my own. I am the one that hides my voice.

I face my adult life without help. I cannot quit though. They look up to me. If I can't do this, how will they know that they can? Most of my decisions are not solely based on my needs and wants. I am the one who is always there for my siblings when they need me. I am the one who shows them that they can accomplish anything.

BUT...

Who is there for me?