I guess you are wondering what's new... Well, during the 4 years I had a baby girl, moved, and the girl I was supposed to marry is now a ex. My father was thrilled to hear the news and assumed that I had been "delivered" because I had a child. Like being "gay" is just a hobby. It's funny because since I had her, he's trying to be a better person. It does make me sad to know that he now wants to try. Why now? Is my daughter his redo? I wish I didn't feel this way, but writing it down helps me. I worry my detachment will ruin whatever relationship my daughter could have with him. But then again, should I care or should I care more about how he could affect my daughter? Will he teach her or show her all the ways to not like me? These are all the questions that come to my mind. Being Lesbian, African American, and a woman makes me a target anyway. I will have to teach her love and teach her hate, and the ways of this world we are in. Unfortunately, we must show are black babies at a early age what hatred looks like, even if it comes from family alike. It is disheartening. Sadly, we live in a world where children know what self-hate is. My father wrote my mother a letter saying she is a monster and the reason for all my bad decisions in life including my orientation. Do I want a person like this around my daughter knowing he despises her own grandmother? Will a relationship with him be right for her? I do not know and the unknown scares me. But I have forgiven him for myself, but things are different now because I have a daughter. I pray that she never has to experience some of the anger and loss I have towards my father because I intentionally had her to raise her without her father. Even if that wasn't my decision, it would still be so. So I often wonder if she'll grow to resent her father too. I can only be open with her about the decisions I made to have her, her father, and grandfather. It's safe to say that I am still writing the letter. Will he ever get it? That part is unknown.
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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Luckily, many colleges offer a number of ways to take part in campus and community life, without forcing you to dedicate all of your time to these organizations. Here are a few ideas!
1. Look into Housing and Dining.
Many first-year students start off college life in residence halls, and the Housing & Dining network throughout campus often provides multiple opportunities for students throughout the year. Many buildings have student community councils that work to create policies and events that make the dorms a more welcoming home for residents. Becoming a community assistant (or the students who work the desks at the front of many halls) is another easy way to have a consistent, well-paying job only minutes away from your room.
If you really enjoyed your housing experience, consider applying to be an RLA, or, if the school offers it, help to teach the first-year community. You'll get the chance to help support new and returning students over the year, and many of these positions also cover major costs like board and meal plans.
2. Pay attention to campus postings.
This advice is more obvious, but it still gets overlooked a fair amount. Even on a busy day, taking the time to stop around campus and look at the flyers advertising clubs and events can draw your attention to something that you never would've noticed otherwise. Students on many campuses also chalk the sidewalk to catch students' attention while they walk to class. Just make sure that the event you're interested in hasn't taken place already!
3. Find common interest groups.
One way to find friends and get involved is to focus on what you're passionate about. Have you always loved to sing? Do you enjoy playing video games? Is photography your favorite past-time? Have you always wanted to join Greek life? Whatever you love devoting your time to, chances are there are organizations around school who are focused on the same thing. Check the student life section of your university's website, or stop by a student organization fair at the beginning of the semester.
4. Join an intramural sports team.
If you're the athletic type, you've probably heard of intramural sports. Often offered through the Rec Center or the residence halls, most colleges often offer various indoor and outdoor sports to take part in throughout the year. Personal favorite? Mini golf.
5. Work on a cause that you care about.
Whether you're passionate about a political group, a social cause, or a religion, working with people who value beliefs similar to yours can be an easy way to meet people, get a better sense of your own identity, and promote causes that are important to you. Look into getting involved with College Democrats, Republicans, or whatever party that you belong to. Find a club that supports social issues, from women's rights to protecting the environment. If you're religious, look into student organizations based on your faith.
6. Join a club related to your major.
Even if you're not entirely sure what you want to do after school, finding a club or organization related to your field of studies can benefit you long after you leave the classroom. From career-related workshops to conferences to professional connections, these groups have a lot to boast.
7. Get an on-campus job.
If you have the time, need to work, or want to save a few extra dollars, finding a job on or near campus is a time-effective way to build up your bank account and gain work experience. Check in your residence hall (see #1), at local businesses and offices, or make an appointment with your school's career center.
8. Volunteer.
When you're caught up in school life, it can be hard to think about the bigger picture. Volunteering your time to people (or animals/an environment) in need puts things in perspective and allows you to feel good while making a positive difference. Check if your college town has a volunteer page, or look up local organizations requesting help.
Best of luck this year! Get out, and get busy.
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