I guess you are wondering what's new... Well, during the 4 years I had a baby girl, moved, and the girl I was supposed to marry is now a ex. My father was thrilled to hear the news and assumed that I had been "delivered" because I had a child. Like being "gay" is just a hobby. It's funny because since I had her, he's trying to be a better person. It does make me sad to know that he now wants to try. Why now? Is my daughter his redo? I wish I didn't feel this way, but writing it down helps me. I worry my detachment will ruin whatever relationship my daughter could have with him. But then again, should I care or should I care more about how he could affect my daughter? Will he teach her or show her all the ways to not like me? These are all the questions that come to my mind. Being Lesbian, African American, and a woman makes me a target anyway. I will have to teach her love and teach her hate, and the ways of this world we are in. Unfortunately, we must show are black babies at a early age what hatred looks like, even if it comes from family alike. It is disheartening. Sadly, we live in a world where children know what self-hate is. My father wrote my mother a letter saying she is a monster and the reason for all my bad decisions in life including my orientation. Do I want a person like this around my daughter knowing he despises her own grandmother? Will a relationship with him be right for her? I do not know and the unknown scares me. But I have forgiven him for myself, but things are different now because I have a daughter. I pray that she never has to experience some of the anger and loss I have towards my father because I intentionally had her to raise her without her father. Even if that wasn't my decision, it would still be so. So I often wonder if she'll grow to resent her father too. I can only be open with her about the decisions I made to have her, her father, and grandfather. It's safe to say that I am still writing the letter. Will he ever get it? That part is unknown.
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StableDiffusion
1. Why are towels considered dirty when you get out of the shower clean?
2. Who closes the bus door once the bus driver gets off?
3. Why is there a "d" in "fridge" but not in "refrigerator"?
Modern Kitchen
4. If you drop soap on the floor is the floor clean or the soap dirty?
Soap on Floor
5. Is the "S" or the "C" silent in the word "scent"?
Scent and flowers
StableDiffusion6. Does expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?
expecting the unexpected
StableDiffusion7. Would Lightning McQueen buy car insurance or life insurance?
lightning mcqueen Cars Movie
StableDiffusion8. Who put the alphabet in alphabetical order?
alphabet
StableDiffusion9. What color are mirrors?
color of mirrors
StableDiffusion10. If 2 mind readers read each other's minds whose mind are they really reading?
mind readers
StableDiffusion11. Is there a synonym for "synonym"?
similar
StableDiffusion12. If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, are your pants tucked into your shirt?
shirt isn't tucked into your pants
Photo by Vanessa Serpas on Unsplash13. Why is it called "quick sand" if you sink slowly in it?
quick sand sinking
StableDiffusion14. If I try to fail, but succeed, which one did I do?
Try to Fail
Photo by Jan Antonin Kolar on Unsplash15. If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?
cinderella s shoe
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1. You won't see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.
sunrise
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Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.
2. You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.
bonfire friends
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3. You won't laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.
4. You won't go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.
They'll miss you. They'll cry.
sadness
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5. You won't fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.
6. You won't get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.
7. You won't be there to wipe away your mother's tears when she finds out that you're gone.
8. You won't be able to hug the ones that love you while they're waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.
9. You won't be at your grandparents' funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.
Instead, they will be at yours.
10. You won't find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.
wedding
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11. You won't celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.
12. You won't turn another year older.
13. You will never see the places you've always dreamed of seeing.
14. You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.
15. You will have seen your last sunset, a beautiful and stunning display.
16. You'll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges, and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.
purple skies
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If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.
This is what you will miss if you leave the world today. This is who will care about you when you are gone.
You can change lives. But I hope it's not at the expense of yours.
We care. People care. Don't let today be the end.
You don't have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It's not wrong to ask for help.
Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.
Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I'm sure you're no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won't do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you'll be fine." Because when they aren't, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.
If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255
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true love
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Thank you for being supportive with everything that I want to do. Instead of trying to convince me 'no', you're encouraging me with a 'yes' or 'you got it'. Having you as my number one cheerleader is such a blessing, because I know I'll always have someone rooting for me. And you know that as much as you're cheering for me, I'm cheering for you right back. Having such immense support for one another is so important in any relationship, and I'm so lucky to have that kind of love and attention coming from you everyday.
My Cheerleader
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I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate you more than words can write. I could probably talk for hours about how much I love you and how obsessed I am with you, but that's a little too much to put into an approximately 500 word piece. More importantly than telling you, I hope I'm able to show you everyday through my actions how much of a positive impact you have on my life. I'm certainly not the same person I was when we first started talking over two years ago, but I'm definitely a better person today than then, with a big thanks to you for that. You've helped me grow so much and I know you'll help me to improve for the better even more in the future.
womans transformation to happiness and love
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I can't wait to see where life's adventures take us next. The only thing I know is that I definitely want to enjoy those adventures with you by my side. I promise to keep enjoying all of the little things that make every day with you so amazing. Thank you for the thousandth for everything that you do for me, because I don't know where I would be - or who I would be - had it not been you by my side all this time. Thank you for being my best friend, my secret keeper, and my confidante. And if I don't say it enough, always know I love you and everything that you do.
future life together of adventures
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With So Much Love,
Your Very Appreciative Girlfriend
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Hauppauge High School
https://patch.com/new-york/hauppauge/ev--college-night-b588e8eb
We only have one high school here, and no matter what grade you are in, everyone seems to know everyone. We are a small school with a lot of spirit. Homecoming and Kicks for Cancer are two of our huge athletic events that occur every year, and the whole town comes out to support our football and soccer teams. If you don’t go to at least one of these events, are you really even from Hauppauge?
Palace or Paradise?
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Hauppauge_Palace_Diner.jpg
We have two diners in Hauppauge, where it is not unlikely you may find some teenagers hanging out there until 3 in the morning, sipping on some milkshakes, or downing some fries. The diners are a very popular place to be after any school concerts or theater productions run by the school districts.
Smith Haven, only!
https://www.yelp.com/biz/smith-haven-mall-lake-grove
Smith Haven mall is pretty much the only mall anyone from Hauppauge goes to. Sure, we have Bay Shore mall and Walt Whitman mall not too far from us, but Smith Haven mall is right around the corner. It has all the shops that any mall really should have, and a pretty good food court too. You can almost never go there without seeing someone you know from home.
That 20-minute drive
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Moses_State_Park
One real perk of living in Hauppauge is the 20-minute or less drive to almost any beach on Long Island (excluding the Hamptons). We have Robert Moses beach on the South Shore and Sunken Meadow beach on the North Shore. Whether you are in the mood for a busy beach day or a quiet day at the Long Island Sound, it is not hard to find the right spot. Since we are in the middle of the island, getting to the beach is something to really look forward to.
Restaurant Row
https://www.branchinellisonline.com/hauppauge/
You know that strip of fast food places right across the street from the middle school and high school? Well, it has officially been nicknamed “Restaurant Row.” After that 2:15 dismissal at the high school, you’ll be able to find tons of students hiking across the soccer fields with determination to get their fill of Wendy’s, McDonald’s, or Panera Bread. There is also Starbucks, Burger King, and our own Branchinelli’s Pizza… which is a whole other level of amazing pizza.
The Rinx
https://www.therinx.com/
So, Friday nights in middle school always ended up with the majority of us ice skating with our best friends. The Rinx also happens to be one of the best rinks on the island with many teams having practices there… yet Hauppauge does not even have an ice-hockey team…. Weird.
We are that town
https://www.888vetshighway.com/
Honestly, Hauppauge is really just that town that cars pass through while trying to get to bigger towns. Veterans Highway drives right through the middle of us and you usually just end up in Smithtown or Commack. Those two towns are more well-known for being bigger and having higher populations.
The Industrial Park
https://galluzzoteam.com/blog/hauppauge-industrial-park-on-long-island
You know that huge maze of roads aligned with dull looking buildings that seems to stretch as far as the eyes can see? Yeah, the roads that are infested with geese everywhere… The industrial park is apparently one of the largest in the nation, and its almost impossible not to get lost in, unless, yes, you’re from that side of Hauppauge.
High School Teachers
https://www.hauppauge.k12.ny.us/article/1729514
Everyone just loves this town so much, that they really never seem to leave. You really know you grew up in Hauppauge when half of the teachers in the school district went to the schools when they were kids! They know the halls better than we do!
Hot Bagels
https://www.change.org/p/chick-fil-a-save-the-bagel-gallery
Yes, this is the name of the 24/7 bagel store you have been to at least once at 3 in the morning. Hot Bagels is home to the best bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches around. It is almost impossible to go there and not wait in a huge line. That’s all right though, because chances are you’re standing next to someone you know or have seen around town.
The Hill
https://foursquare.com/v/hauppauge-high-school/4bd231d777b29c74ce3f8e82/photos
Sledding at the high school is a winter tradition for all of us. Whether you are with babysitting young children or you’re with your best friends, you have most likely been to the huge hill near the soccer fields at the school. You actually get quite the rush when sleigh riding down some steep slopes and hitting some moguls!
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