There is nothing greater than being from New Jersey. Full stop, facts only, no buts about it. And being born and bred in the Garden State has taught me a few things. We're talking unparalleled wisdom -- the kind New Yorkers pretend to have, the kind Californians dream of, and the kind I thank God Springsteen for every day.
1. Good food.
New Jersey is the land of all things delicious, and if being born and bred in the most magnificent state in the nation has taught me anything, it's how to scope out the best disco fries, ice cream, and pork roll egg and cheese. I've never once been impressed by a New York diner, and I doubt that will ever change. If you need further convincing, I implore you to visit Chegg, Jose Tejas, and Hot Dog Johnny's.
2. How to smile and say "fill it with regular."
3. How to be loud, obnoxious, and over-confident.
I know I'm great and I know what I want. And after a few minutes with me, I'm going to make sure you know it, too.
4. How to drive.
A common occurrence: thinking or shouting, "How dare this a--hole actually go the speed limit," but as soon as you notice the Pennsylvania license plate, everything makes sense. Honestly, the official New Jersey state motto should be, "If you can drive well here, you can drive anywhere."
5. A great sense of direction.
Not only can I navigate a jug handle flawlessly, but I can tell you what exit I live off of on the parkway and the turnpike, which way you should drive into the City, and where the nearest WaWa is.
6. I'm kind of a big deal.
All I'm saying is I've never heard a song about girls from Connecticut.
7. Pride.
New Jersey is literally the greatest place on Earth, and every single New Jerseyan isn't afraid to make sure you know it. We can shout at each other about the Jets, Giants and Eagles and do the whole North/South/Central Jersey debate until we're blue in the face, but you can bet your bottom dollar the fighting stops any time Springsteen or Bon Jovi comes on.
