Before arriving at college, I'd never given that much thought on Greek life other than stereotypes that have been exposed to me through media, a few personal stories, and articles online. Absolutely none of my family connections partook in the system and so it was a rather new thing for me when Wake Forest rolled around.

Naturally, since Wake operates late rush, I had gotten to know the members first before learning that they are in certain houses, which wiped away a lot of the preconceived notions I could have had while adding a few more, from the ebbs and flows of small talks that dominated rush dates and/or circumstances that oftentimes involved substance. The rush process was stretched over a structured, compact, and fast-paced week of speed dating with a few women at a time in each house in rotation, and the process slows down in the end when potential new members narrow down their options. It was apparent that each member put in a considerable amount of effort to shine the most positive light on their organization.

Indeed, when I spoke to all eight houses on the first day, I gained tremendous knowledge about philanthropies, sisterhood events, and friendship dynamics in each individual sorority. I had also grasped how the “groupthink” politics behind Greek life could generate oppression that is silencing toward imperative current issues on and off campus, and the overall system (not individual members, but the system itself) that is built upon marginalization and exclusion based on race, sex, religious beliefs, ideologies, financial status, and physical appearance.

I would like to then declare that I am not here to criticize any specific current and potential members for their involvement in Greek life, in fact, I salute them for getting involved on campus through avenues that they see fit. However, I am here to reflect on my own experiences during recruitment and my own understanding of the respectability politics of Greek life, coupled with my own lived experiences of marginalization as a first-generation immigrant who is also a non-white-passing woman of color, whether it was intentional or not. Here are some points I would like to expand on:

• First and foremost, Greek life as a system discriminates against transgender, intersex, genderqueer, or otherwise non-gender conforming people. This is especially prevalent with the so-called tier system. I understand that each individual member may have their own take on this, but the institutions of Greek life itself is segregated based on the gender binary, and the pressure to dress cis-normative is present and encouraged. Gender segregation as a fundamental of Greek life is an institutionalized trend that is not only uncomfortable, but very belittling for people with certain identities --- we as an institution is essentially telling them that their existence is less valid than some others. Yes, I do personally know a multitude of activists on campus who are fighting for better inclusion and equity for all who are involved in Greek life, but their ideas are oftentimes not mentioned in the mainstream culture and/or silenced to a degree. Perpetuating antiquated ideas of segregation based is not exactly following the motto of “Pro Humanitate” in its most profound ways, in fact, it’s quite the opposite.
• While being financially prohibitive, Greek life as a system also promotes exclusive access to social and academic resources based on factors influenced by the social lottery. The price sticker on the application keeps people out first and foremost, and the skyrocketed price that new members must pay vs. old members further eliminate some. Yes, it is understood that people have the right to spend money wherever they want and however they want, but it is unnecessary to encourage people to do so within the system of Greek life that, not necessarily champions, but allows a culture of groupthink, inequity, and class division to flourish. Certain people who hold the ability to create change for this campus may not obtain the same social status or resources to do so because they are ostracized to a degree, and overtime, the division widens and people become solidified in their own bubble.
• Lack of the celebration of diversity, on racial and on experiential ways, when the foundation of college itself is to meet people that are different. Every existing psychological study on the subject shows that, when given the chance, people will choose to associate with those whom they most resemble. Greek life makes it immediate to put people in boxes by judging them based on a few social interactions, and yes, I understand that Greek life at Wake is comparatively inclusive, and yes, I am also aware that theme housings exist on campus that separate different groups, but I believe those to be slightly different issues. I am specifically referring to the normalization of white culture as more accepted than others in Greek organizations, and whiteness as a social lubricant for the very little number of diverse individuals that are sometimes selected based on the face value that they will meet certain quotas. Diversifying Greek life won’t be a working solution because the system itself is founded based on racial exclusion, and sure, we could work to make individual houses more progressive, but inclusion is about culture, and Greek life is a culture of exclusion.

The major reasons why I felt I could not click with the system is due to the overall lack of the celebration of diversity and overemphasis on heteronormative standards. When I walked into each "party", or individual events where you will interact with the sisters, I felt like I had to more or less minimize parts of myself in order to flow with the mainstream, which is something that I love to do the least on this planet. I feel like I was constantly anxious about if I wasn't acting "srat" enough (and I'm pretty sure I acted natural, but the fear of not fitting in was still there), if the topic of the conversation wasn't what they looked for, if I looked acceptable in my short hair in a sea of long haircuts, the fact that several houses asked me if I had lived in Clemson all my life, my lack of any legacy whatsoever, my obvious presence as a person of color who grew up in different situations than a lot of these women, or my faint accent popping out and having them judge my cultural background.

It wasn't that I feel like my identities would be completely shut down by the system, but that they could be tokenized or alienated, not by everyone, but even one or two people who I have to be automatically respectful towards is enough. I feel like I could have survived all four years, but did I really want to when remaining independent allows me so much more freedom of expression and does not interfere with partying that much since I am a girl to begin with, and a lot of my friends have already established connections through sororities and other organizations?

I dropped from sorority recruitment because I felt that continuing this process would only exhaust me instead of uplifting me. Moreover, the way many sororities tackle charity isn't my favorite: raising money within each individual group instead of allowing everyone on campus to share ideas and contribute, especially when a lot of these victims of oppression are people of color who probably relate to many people who are not in Greek life. Sometimes it is a slap on the face for people who are actually in need of help, because they feel like they are from the outside looking in, they feel like that they are part of a publicity stunt instead of human beings worthy of value.

In addition, the lack of POC-oriented charities that Greek life involves itself in. With all of that being said, I am very happy for my friends and colleagues who involved themselves and have found their place on campus. One good thing about Greek life is that you could be as involved as you can, without being too distant from it. I also think that Greek life, like many organizations that were started by one specialized group of people (in the case of Panhellenic life, white women who wanted support from one another), has potential to become more inclusive and intersectional, but that potential has its limits and I believe that when those limits are reached, the expiration date will be near.

I personally just felt like I wanted to create change differently and allow myself more freedom for, anything really. I am thankful that I kept an open mind throughout this process and thrilled to see where that will take me for the next four years.